Tilting at Windmills

It’s a hot summer day in July 2008. Drive by the football complex at Kansas State’s Bill Snyder Family Stadium and there are a couple of cars in the parking lot. It’s vacation time. Or maybe then-coach Ron Prince is off somewhere cutting a special clandestine contract to further feather his nest.

Fast forward to an even hotter day a year later. There are about 40 cars in the parking lot. Clearly, the white-haired man whose name is on the stadium is back in charge.

Snyder, the architect of the greatest turnaround in college football history, is back three years after his retirement. And amazingly, the old man with the one-track mind has a rebuilding job on his hands not dissimilar to the mess he inherited in 1989, thanks in large part to Prince’s incredible ineptitude. What in the hell were K-State officials thinking when they hired this assclown? Has anyone ever seen a worse D-1 college football defense than the mess Kansas State rolled out last year?

What were they thinking?

Even as quickly as the introductory presser nine months ago, the vintage Snyder returned: the grandfatherly smile, followed by a stern rebuke of the media for reporting his long-rumored return before Snyder had time to tell everyone he wished. That’s Bill Snyder: Large, pissy and in charge, the old, gruff anti-media coach set in his ways. And By God, don’t you question him.

Also, not only is the Legend back, so are several of the assistant coaches who had front row seats for the incredible turnaround.

But what Kansas State’s fanbase doesn’t acknowledge is Snyder’s role in the program’s deterioration. He was largely unable to replace a series of assistant coaches who filtered out of the program over the years, many for such pedestrian pursuits as a chance to spend time with family. And let’s not forget the sheer numbers of Wildcat assistants who lined up for the Norman bus when Bob Stoops got the Oklahoma job.

“Get me the hell out of here,” all of those assistants seemed to be saying.

They also fail to acknowledge that the Evil Genius got fat and satisfied after the Wildcats pantsed Oklahoma in the 2003 Big 12 Championship Game and recruiting fell off the face of the Earth. The old man with an eye for detail suddenly had problems getting a punter on the field, as the 2005 game at Oklahoma evidenced.

But when you’ve accomplished what you set out to do – a conference title, tainted as it was by the silliness that is a conference championship game; everyone with a brain knows Oklahoma wins that game nine out of 10 times – the work ethic suffers.

It's his mess this time, can he fix it again?

In fact, the cupboard was rather bare when Prince – who was admittedly all style and no substance – duped the moneychangers at Kansas State into the coaching job. The truth will hurt Wildcat faithful: Snyder got fat and happy, and that started the deterioration of their football program long before they brought in the bald, fat boob from Virginia.

And now, the talent level is even worse. It’s not quite back to 1989 levels, but make no mistake about it: Kansas State won’t challenge for a North title anytime soon.

Snyder’s back, and he’s a constant for the embattled K-State fan base at a time when the athletic department and university have an AIG-like reputation for squandering money. They’ve already rolled the clock back with a series of billboards featuring Darren Sproles, Terrance Newman and others from Snyder’s successful days.

That’s a dangerous sign: You don’t rebuild programs by living in the past.

The Wildcats will be better next year – there’s no way in hell they couldn’t be, given the ineptitude of Prince and his staff.

That’s right: the Evil Genius is back, but the days of chasing conference titles and nattys are gone in Manhattan. And with the school’s integrity in tatters, recruiting flight rules tightened, Oklahoma prospering, Kansas turning into a Big 12 North contender and BCS bowl participant, etc., those Good Old Days won’t be coming back any time soon.

If you’ve been around for awhile, you remember the good old days when the words “Kansas State” were synonymous with “suckitude.”

Barry Switzer lighting up heaters on the Manhattan sidelines. Brian Bosworth with his pads off, chewing on a hot dog. Scores routinely in the 70s. About 10,000 people showing up in purple, and about 20,000 showing up in Crimson.

We're hangin' half a hundred today, fellas.

Memo to Bill Snyder: If you don’t do something about the worst college football defense in history, you’re going to live those days – although I doubt you’ll see Bob Stoops firing up a heater as he tries to keep from dropping a hundred on you in Norman this fall.

Ron Prince’s last Wildcat defense couldn’t stop anyone: A non-conference opponent. A conference opponent. The TaW writing staff.

And when you have to rely on an all-star coaching staff for your main hope of improvement, any look into the future is frightening.

Word is, the Mildcats are going to switch to a 4-2-5 alignment this fall, which makes perfect sense – if you’re the opposition. The Cat secondary got lit up last fall more often than a Switzer cancer stick, and all of the burn victims are out of the hospital and ready for another campaign. Senior safety Courtney Herndon is the only player remotely resembling a Big 12 player in the unit.
The Cats also have a solid defensive end in Brandon Harold, and they return senior Eric Childs, who reportedly was a member of Snyder’s first team in 1989 as well.

At the linebacker position, there are several returnees, but when your best player is a freshman walkon in Alex Hrebec, it’s like it’s 1989 again, Billy.

The Cat defense will be better fundamentally, because Snyder hires competent coaches, not his D-2 buddies looking for a quick payday.

But Prince destroyed this program by filling it full of junior college transfers, and the majority of the damage is on the defensive side of the football. Don’t be surprised if the Cats give up a half-hundred on the average in Big 12 play.

Here’s the problem in a nutshell for Bill Snyder Part Deux at Kansas State: He needs Ell Roberson and Darren Sproles clones to make his offense go. Instead, he’s got Carl Straw and Michael Smith clones.

Fact is, the talent on both sides of the ball at Kansas State is a lot closer to the 1989 mess Snyder inherited than the team he left in 2005, thanks to the F5 tornado named Ron Prince who swept through Manhattan in three years, leveling the once-proud program.

It's 1989 again, Bill.

There’s not even Josh Freeman, the error-prone Chris Simms clone who was arguably the most overrated Big 12 player in the conference’s brief history. Instead, it’s Carson Coffman, Brandon “De Plane, Boss. De Plane” Banks and a cast of “Who’s he?” that Snyder will attempt to rebuild around.

Make no mistake about it, though: Kansas State will be better on offense, if for no other reason than the cache of assistants Snyder is bringing back to Manhattan.

Plus, it’s a typical pussified Snyder non-conference schedule, including such titans as UMass, Tennessee Tech and Louisiana Home for the Aged and Infirm. Unfortunately, the UCLA game is on the west coast, depriving Slick Rick Neuheisel of the chance to pick up some underhanded tips from the growing club of experts in Manhattan.

Coffman is a competent player. But does anyone feel confident handing the ball off to Keithen Valentine, Kansas small high school wunderkind Logan Dold or Jarrell Childs? Dold was so impressive toting the rock that Snyder gave him a big look at safety in the spring.

Banks was the Big 12 offensive newcomer of the year, which is made even more impressive by the fact that he’s 3-foot-7. The only other name among the receiving corps, Deon Murphy, was shitcanned by Snyder in the spring. You’ll recall that Snyder was almost Tom Osborne-like in his loyalty to players in trouble with the law who could do good things with the football.

Banks is rested and ready for 2009.

The Wildcat offensive line, a sieve under the former offensive lineman Prince, should probably be better this fall, although I’m sure they’ll miss Prince’s tips on how to negotiate contracts. Seniors Nick Stringer and Brock Unruh anchor that group.

The Wildcats won’t be quite as offensive with the football under Snyder, because they’ll be better fundamentally. But if you’re expecting this group to put up enough points to compete week in and week out in the Big 12, forget it.

We start our in-depth look at the Big 12 landscape this year in the North where graduations affect some, not so much others and, when it comes down to it, scheduling could play the most important part.

The look from here says Nebraska’s combination of scheduling and defense should be enough to get them to the Big 12 championship game at Jerryworld in December. It won’t be easy, though, as Kansas may have something to say about it, as will question marks in the offense.

1. Nebraska

Bill Callahan nearly ran a once-proud program into the ground. At times, he seemed more concerned with throat-slashes, fans “throwing fruit,” and being a general all-around asshat than he did coaching the Big Red machine. Former Husker assistant Bo Pelini took over the helm last season, turning around a team that had gone 5-7 in 2007 (just their second losing season in 40 years – both of them under Callahan) and guided them to 10 wins and a Gator Bowl win.

Pelini will be replacing quarterback Joe Ganz, who threw for 3,500 yards and 25 touchdowns in 2008. Sophomore Zac Lee looks to be the one getting the nod, although he’s only thrown two career passes. He’ll have running back Roy Helu behind him, who despite starting just two games in 2008, led the team in rushing yards (803) and rushing touchdowns (7).

Fans hope Pelini, a defensive coach by trade, can bring back the Blackshirts. They’ll rally around 6’4″, 300-pound, senior defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh, who led the Husker defense in tackles (85), sacks (7.5), interceptions (2 … really, he led the team in picks??), QB hurries (7) and seconds on extra gravy boats at the Omaha Cracker Barrel.

Scheduling is where the Huskers get the biggest break. Yes, they have to play Oklahoma, but it’s in Lincoln. Yes, they have to go to Columbia and Lawrence, but the Tigers and Jayhawks have scheduling problems of their own. In the usual battle of attrition in the Big 12 North, Nebraska should be the team coming out on top and playing for the Big 12 Championship in December.

2. Kansas

The force is strong in Lawrence with pequeña signal-caller Todd Reesing returning for his senior season, and All-American candidate wideout Dezmon Briscoe (he’s still wide open down the sidelines, Venables … cover his ass) set to become the school’s all-time receptions leader before conference play even starts. In my mind, Mark Mangino is one of the best coaches in the country and will have the Rock Chalkers in contention for the North title. In fact, they’ll probably be favored to beat Nebraska in Lawrence on November 14. However, they do have to play Oklahoma (in Lawrence, thankfully) and make trips to Lubbock and Austin. That’s potentially three losses right there and dropping that many games in the North this year will have you sitting at home watching the Big 12 CCG.

3. Missouri

Although they’re the two-time reigning Big 12 North representative in the championship game, head coach Gary Pinkel will be retooling the offense after losing their biggest tool, Chase Daniel. All-world wideout and return specialist Jeremy Maclin will be drawing a paycheck from the Phildalphia Eagles in 2009, so Pinkel will have his cutesy, why-the-hell-are-you-calling-a-trick-play-NOW work cut out for him. Can 6’5″ quarterback Blaine Gabbert and 1,000-yard rusher Derrick Washington be enough on offense? In the Big 12 North, maybe. However, they open conference play with Nebraska, then go to Stillwater seven days later and come back home the next week to host Texas. Mizzou needs to win at least one of those three to have any shot at the Big 12 north title.

4. Colorado

Now we’re just drawing straws for the lower half of the North division. Colorado probably has enough talent to eek out the Kansas and Iowa ag schools, but unless they have a winning record and go bowling (doubtful and seriously doubt it), Dan Hawkins might be coaching intramurals this time next year. The Hawk may be platooning quarterbacks and running backs, and the defense loses six starters. The Buffs’ saving grace is that they get Kansas, Nebraska and Missouri all in Boulder. CU fans shudder at the thought of roadtrips to Austin and Stillwater, though.

5. Kansas State

Goodnight, sweet Prince. Hello again, Bill Snyder. The Wildcat fanbase doesn’t even acknowledge having a B.S. (before-Snyder) football program and, well, maybe they’re right. Snyder did accomplish one of the major turnarounds in college football history, taking the worst program in the history of the sport and making them conference title contenders. However, that was the Big 8. Snyder’s biggest win? A Big 12 conference title game shellacking over OU. The Wildcats must go to Norman on Halloween this year and unless he can raise the ghost of Darren Sproles, that one could get ugly. Other road trips to Lincoln and Lubbock mean … well, you get the picture.

6. Iowa State

A new year, a new Auburn DC running the ship in Ames. Surely Paul Rhoads can’t do worse than Gene Chizik’s two years there. I’ll put on my Harry Carey voice (just go with it) and ask: how does a guy who went 5-19 get the head coach position at Auburn? Austen Arnaud is a talented quarterback, but he might have to carry the load by himself. Unless you’re Vince Young (and he’s not), a one-man show is not going to win in Lawrence, Columbia and Lincoln. ISU also draws OSU and Baylor (in Ames) out of the South. The Bears’ Robert Griffin already went apeshit on the Cyclones once – he may just do it again.

If only the rest of us could be so lucky during this economic failure.

Former Kansas State head coach Ron Prince, who was fired midway through the 2008 football season for fear KState would return to looking like … KState, stands to make $3.2 million for doing absolutely nothing if he can stave off a lawsuit filed by his former employer.

According to the suit, Bob Krause, who resigned as KState’s athletic director at the end of March, worked out a secret golden parachute agreement with Prince’s agent that would pay the Power-Toweler enough for lunch with Warren Buffet, plus enough leftover for a tip.

Hopefully Buffet will still be around when Prince, if he wins the suit, collects. The contract states Prince is due to collect $800,000 in 2015, $800,000 in 2016 and $1.6 million in 2020. It’s a pretty sweet deal for a coach who went 17-20 over three seasons, yet managed to sign a five-year contract extension before the 2008 season. By the way, that contract had a $1.2 mil buyout in it.

Wait … Ron Prince … Prince’s gold, golden powerchute, power towel, shower towel, golden shower!

Now it’s making sense.

I can’t make up stuff this good: a day after the world learned that UT claims a 2008 Big 12 football championship, Asterisk-gate continues on the 40 Acres. DeLoss Dodds has decided to pay $44,000 in bonuses to Mack’s assistant coaches as part of a contractual-incentive for winning … the Big 12 championship. Be sure to read some of the comments. They’re priceless.

So, in honor of this silliness, we at TaW thought we’d map out the timeline to see how we got here. A special thanks to DeLoss Dodds and the UT SID for helping out us bloggers during football nuclear winter.

May 20 and 22, 2008: Annual Big 12 spring meetings

Football revenue-sharing and player eligibility highlight the agenda. Most are mainly looking forward to seeing the conference’s success over the past 10 years translating into something besides chicken casserole and soggy rolls at the media trough buffet.

July 31, 2008: Big 12 issues press release regarding divisional tie-breaking procedures

Ah … here they are: the tiebreaker procedures that will be used in the 2008 season. It’s good the Big 12 did this just in case there’s a question later and we need to refer back. Some of these are a little bit overkill, though. A three-way tie? There’s no way would that ever happen*.

Divisional Champion: The (eligible) team with the best winning-percentage of all divisional members in its eight conference games is declared the divisional champion and representative to the Dr Pepper Big 12 Conference Football Championship Game. A team ineligible under NCAA or Big 12 rules for postseason (bowl) competition shall not compete in the Championship Game.

Divisional Tiebreakers:

The following procedure will determine the representative from each division in the event of a tie:

a. If two teams are tied, the winner of the game between the two tied teams shall be the representative
b. If three or more teams are tied, steps 1 through 7 will be followed until a determination is made. If only two teams remain tied after any step, the winner of the game between the two tied teams shall be the representative.
1. The records of the three teams will be compared against each other
2. The records of the three teams will be compared within their division
3. The records of the three teams will be compared against the next highest placed teams in their division in order of finish (4, 5 and 6)
4. The records of the three teams will be compared against all common conference opponents;
5. The highest ranked team in the first Bowl Championship Series Poll following the completion of Big 12 regular season conference play shall be the representative
6. The team with the best overall winning percentage [excluding exempted games] shall be the representative
7. The representative will be chosen by draw.

August 30, 2008: College football season starts.

Our summer of discontent has finally ended and football season has started. #4 OU sleepwalks 57-2 past Tennessee-Chattanooga with Joey Halzle throwing a touchdown pass in the second quarter to put OU ahead 50-0 at halftime. This prompts the first of many shrill cries throughout the season that the Sooners run up the score (hereafter abbreviated “RUTS”). Howard Schnellenburger spends too long at Scholz’s and misses kickoff of the game between his Florida Atlantic Owls and #11 Texas. He missed his quarterback’s happy-go-jacky routine against UT’s young secondary, putting up over 2 bills through the air by halftime. By the time Drunkenberger shows up, UT’s on the way to crushing FAU 52-10.

September 13, 2008: Get bent, Pac-10

Sam Bradford has maybe his finest game as a Sooner, completing 18 of 21 passes for 304 yards and 5 TDs. The #3 Sooners smashed UDub in Seattle, which despite the Huskies finishing the year as one of the worst teams in college football, it finally showed that OU could perform well on the road. The shrill cries this week came from people warning everybody in Austin to build an ark before Hurricane Ike washed the entire city away. UT postpones its ass-kicking of Arkansas while just enough rain fell in Austin to fill a pitcher of diluted margaritas at El Arroyo.

October 11, 2008: UT wins Red River Rivalry

Bradford throws for 387 yards and 5 TDs, but thanks to an inability to stop #5 Texas in crucial second half situations (that was your backup plan, Venables? Seriously?), #1 OU falls to Texas, 45-35. With the win, Texas takes essentially a two-game lead in the Big 12 South (see Tiebreaker A). Brainfart Players of the Game are shared by Brent Venables, Brandon Crow and the entire Sooner kickoff coverage team. Two phantom personal fouls against Colt McCoy and a disallowed Sooner interception in the end zone leave Oklahoma fans seething.

Coach 'em up, Venables.

October 25, 2008: OU 58, Kansas State 35

The #4 Sooners look like they’re playing Madden 2008 on Playstation as they put up 55 points by halftime on Kstate, prompting cries of RUTSing by those who didn’t actually watch the game. This running theme will continue.

November 1, 2008: #7 Texas Tech 39, #1 Texas 33.

Tech’s Michael Crabtree shakes free of two Longhorn tacklers and scores with :01 second left to upset Texas and turn the college football nation upside down. Leach says his team plays 60 minutes, including the last minute of the game. By Monday, Texas fans will forget this game ever happened. With this game, Tech is now – gasp – atop the Big 12 South and just has to win at Oklahoma to go to the Big 12 championship.

Meanwhile on that same night back in Norman, #4 OU is teabagging Nebraska 28-0 with 9:30 to play in the first quarter on the way to a 62-28 rout. (insert RUTS meme)

Bo Pelini got over it.

November 8, 2008: #6 Oklahoma 66, Texas A&M 28.

After dropping 60 on Nebraska, the BCS has no love for the Sooners and drops them two spots. OU takes out its frustration by hanging 60 again, this time at College Station. It was 21-0 at the end of the first quarter. OU had 66 points with 3:54 still to play in the third quarter, the final points coming on Dom Franks’ 39-yard fumble return. RUTS cries continue from those who don’t have televisions or eyes.

November 22, 2008: #5 Oklahoma 65, #2 Texas Tech 21.

It was 42-7 by halftime and the entire stadium was jumping around. Bradford threw deep for a 66-yard pass to Ryan Broyles late in the third quarter. OK, maybe Stoops ran this one up, but he and the entire team was pissed. With the win over previously undefeated Tech, there is now a three-way logjam atop the Big 12 South standings between OU, Tech and Texas. Longhorns immediately begin discounting Tech since the Sand Aggies just got beat by 44 points, essentially trying to punish OU for doing what Texas should have done itself three weeks earlier. The politicking begins.

November 29, 2008: #3 Oklahoma 61, #12 Oklahoma State 41.

OU wins a wild, back-and-forth shootout in Stillwater by scoring 17 points in the last 8 minutes of the game. Despite this being a tight, three-point game with 10 minutes to play, people like Geoff Ketchum convince themselves that OU is once again* RUTSing. I call Ketchum’s show and rhetorically call him a “freaking idiot” on the air. UT fans and interwebs posters are convinced that there’s not even a prayer that OU will jump Texas in the BCS poll (UT is ranked #2, OU #3). As shown in the above-cited tiebreaker procedures released from the Big 12 offices four months prior, the team that is rated higher in the next BCS poll will go to the Big 12 championship the following week and will play North Division champion for the Big 12 title.

December 1, 2008: OU jumps Texas in BCS poll.

Neither airplane banners nor Mack’s politickin’ nor the plaintive wailing of “45-35” could make BCS voters forget that Texas lost to Texas Tech. OU’s blowouts down the stretch impressed the voters as much as UT’s whining turned them off, and they install OU as the #2 team in the nation, behind Florida and just ahead of Texas. Since there is a three-way tie in the Big 12 South (not a two-way tie, but a three way … you don’t get to discount losses whenever it’s convenient, Texas), according to rule b(5) posted above, OU will play Missouri for the Big 12 championship next week in Kansas City:

The highest ranked team in the first Bowl Championship Series Poll following the completion of Big 12 regular season conference play shall be the representative

In a presser following the announcement, Stoops makes sure to point out that there were three teams, not two, involved in the process. Oh, and maybe (just maybe) OU deserved to go just as much as the other two.

December 14, 2008: Sam Bradford wins Heisman

Bradford had the best season in school history for a quarterback, throwing for 4,700 yards and 50 TDs, and leading the highest-scoring team in NCAA history. Heisman voters chose him over Colt McCoy and Jesus Tebow. What does this have to do with Asterisk-gate and UT not playing for the Big 12 championship? In reality, nothing. However, in the failed logic of UT fans, it was just another reason to think that somehow the rules they couldn’t change after the fact or whine their way around screwed them.

January 8, 2009: #2 Florida 24, #1 Oklahoma 14

The Sooners come up just short of winning their 8th national championship, but when the other team has Jesus at quarterback, really what can you do? What does this have to do with Asterisk-gate and UT not playing for the Big 12 championship? In reality, nothing. However, in the failed logic of UT fans, it was just another reason to think that somehow the rules they couldn’t change after the fact or whine their way around screwed them. Obviously UT would have been in this game if they had just played in Kansas City instead of Oklahoma because, you know, it was like a foregone conclusion and whatnot that they’d beat Missouri. Duh.

February 13, 2008: Asterisk-gate gains momentum

Woodward and Bernstein Our friends at the Red Dirt Kings are among the first to notice that UT is somehow claiming a Big 12 championship they did not win. Unfortunately, the big boy media either doesn’t see the story, or because they didn’t report it themselves, choose to ignore it. Of course we at TaW, never to be confused with the big boy media, were all over it and so were the tens of loyal readers.

April 5, 2008: The sh*t hits the fan

Texas’ spring game the prior Sunday had all kinds of media inside the bowels of UT’s Moncrief-Neuhaus athletic shrine. Somebody finally noticed what had been up there for at least two weeks: the Horns are claiming they won* a Big 12 championship. Much laughter and derision ensue.

April 6, 2008: UT decides to take down the 2008*

After repeated calls and guffaws from, well, pretty much everybody, the UT SID decides to pull the offending numbers (and asterisk) off the wall. Mack Brown claims he knew nothing about it, according to Asst. SID John Bianco, who prefaced the canned statement it with “let me answer that for Mack.” I sort of don’t blame Mack for not minding the 2008* being on the wall. After all, if you only have one conference title in a quarter century as a Division I head coach, you’ll take all the help you can get.

April 7, 2008: Longhorn coaches get bonuses for winning* Big 12 Championship

In what essentially amounts to “yeah, we still think we won it,” UT decides to go ahead and pay Mack’s assistants bonuses they would have received had they actually won the Big 12 Championship the way you’re supposed to: playing for it on the field and taking home a trophy. UT president William Powers said it was “the right decision.” Mack didn’t get a bonus, ostensibly because after further review, the Longhorns actually didn’t win shit.

April 8, 2008: Where does Asterisk-gate go from here?

Bloggers can only hope the madness continues as we search for something – anything – to write about from now until fall practice begins. Given the reputation for clownish antics on the 40 Acres, we at TaW might have to dig deep and hire a phalanx of writers to keep up.

First day down and the Windmill Tilters are 2-2 in the Phillips 66 Big 12 Championship in Oklahoma City. Alliteration aside, we got bit by Baylor’s backcourt showing some heart against a gassed Nebraska squad. Then in the late game, Tech’s Mike Singletary went happy-go-jacky against A&M to advance the Sand Aggies into today’s game against Mizzou.

Here’s a quick breakdown of today’s games, minus our guys (I’ll be filing that one separately):

#1 Kansas (25-6) vs. #9 Baylor (18-13). If I’d had this post up before the game started, I’d point out more than yesterday’s Big 12 Network color commentator repeatedly saying stupid stuff like “nobody wants to play this Baylor team” or “Baylor’s the kind of team that could run the table in this tournament.” That’s why you’re on the “Big 12 Network,” holmes. Hiphopopotamus at Oread Boom Kings is filing iPhone reports from the Ford and posted an early KU-Baylor preview last night. Just gloss right on past the A&M-Mizzou preview.

This is not the game preview you're looking for ...

#4 K-State (21-10) vs. #5 Texas (21-10). UT’s Dexter Pittman apparently took it personally upon finding out that Queen Ann Cafeteria closed a couple of years ago. When plied with a similar tart rhubarb pie from Marie Callender’s, Pittman aggressively told the UT trainer to get that weak pastry action out of here and took his frustrations out on Colorado’s front line, dunking his way to 26 points and 10 rebounds. UT personnel reportedly are keeping the existence of Boulevard Cafeteria a secret from Dex until after this afternoon’s game against K-State, which comes into today’s matchup winning 10 out of its last 13. Included in that streak is a four-point, overtime win in Austin. First-year starter and second-team All-Big 12er Denis Clemente nailed six threes against the Horns on the way to 44 points. Three of Clemente’s biggest games this year have come against three of their more difficult opponents: 44 against Texas, 26 against Kansas and 33 at Mizzou. Simply put, the Longhorns cannot let Clemente get loose. Inside, Texas did a good job utilizing their size advantage over Colorado, getting 37 points and 11 rebounds from their starting front line of Pittman and Damion James. They’ll have a little more pushback today with K-State’s 6’10” center Darren Kent’s big body in the lane. In their last matchup, Gary Johnson played a huge role for the Horns with his 16 points and 6 boards. However, Johnson’s status is questionable today after he turned his ankle in the second half of yesterday’s game. I’ll tentatively take K-State here advancing to face the Kansas-Baylor winner, based on Clemente and the fact that I’ll believe Pittman is in good enough shape to play back-to-back days when I see it.

#3 Mizzou (25-6) vs. #11 Texas Tech (14-18). Here’s what Singletary did for Tech yesterday off the bench: over a nine minute stretch in the second half, he single-handedly outscored the Aggies 29-18; he brought the Sand Aggies back from a 22-point defecit, setting a Big 12 tournament record for the biggest come from behind win; his 43 points were 18 more than his career high, and; his scoring 29 straight points was the second-biggest, one-man run in NCAA history and the most consecutive points by one player in 48 years. So, Mizzou should pretty much know who to guard today, you’d think. Two other things Tech has working in their favor tonight: 1. The Raiders put away Kansas by 20 last week in Lubbock, so they’re playing a lot better as of late, and; 2. All six of Mizzou’s losses this year have been on the road, including a mystifying 10-point loss to the aforementioned A&M last week. Last time these two teams played, first team All Big 12 selection DeMarre Carroll went for 27 and the Tigers harassed the Red Raiders into 29 turnovers in a nine-point win in Columbia. On paper, it looks like Singletary gave Mizzou a gift by knocking out the Aggies. Carroll and Lyons should be plenty enough inside to end Tech’s season, but don’t discount Mizzou’s horrid (at times) games on the road and that Tech is playing for its life. I’ll take Mizzou here to win and get to a Friday game against the Bedlam winner.

Wednesday, ponderos. The men’s Big 12 tournament starts on Wednesday, NOT Thursday. They’re starting on Wednesday so the NCAA selection committee won’t have any excuses when they shaft one of the teams on Sunday since they will have chosen their teams already by the time the tournament is usually done.

Thank you, inside voice. Go back to whatever you were doing.

Yes, the 13th Big 12 men’s basketball tournament starts tomorrow at the Ford Center (home of yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr OKC Thunder!) in idyllic downtown Oklahoma City. While you’re there, head over to the track if you have a moment. Hitting a quinella at Remington Park is dominance defined.

Personal grooming habits have been an issue with the Thunder's new cheerleader.

As always, the first round games are of interest to fans of teams who couldn’t get the first round bye, and those teams who await them on Thursday (not Friday). The team probably most disappointed to be playing on humpday is Texas, which thought it would be able to rest on Wednesday after beating a Griffin-less OU. That was before laying eggs at Stillwater and Lawrence.

Some interesting facts from Big 12 tournament history:

• Only four teams have won the conference tourney: KU (6), OU (3 straight), OSU (2), and ISU (1).
• The conference’s regular season winner has won the post season tournament 7 times: Kansas (5), OSU (1), Iowa State (1).
• This is the second time the Ford Center has hosted the Big 12 tournament. The last time was 2007 when Kansas won an 88-84 thriller over Kevin Durant and four other Longhorns.
• Kansas is the winningest team in the Big 12 tournament at 25-6. OU is second at 19-9.

2009 Big 12 Tournament Bracket

Here’s a quick, just past the boxscores look at the first round games:

#8 Nebraska (18-11) vs. #9 Baylor (17-13). The Huskers don’t have a player over 6’5” who logs significant minutes, yet they were able to beat much bigger teams like Texas and Mizzou in Lincoln, plus a 20-point face-rape of K-State. Nebraska will play about eleventy-million quick, ankle-biting guards who will harass and bug the shit out of you. That might be enough against Baylor, which after looking like they might be this year’s NCAA Cinderella early in the year, turned into the proverbial pumpkin mid-season. After beating K-State and running their record to 15-3, the Bears went to Norman and got absolutely blasted by the Sooners, beginning a 10 of 12 losing streak. The last of those losses was to Nebraska, in Waco, when all Baylor had to do was hang onto the ball in the last two minutes of the game to win. The Bears need Curtis Jerrells and LaceDarius Dunn to light it up for them to have a chance to win. Nebraska should be able to use its speed and ballhawking (they average 8.4 steals per game) to advance to a Thursday matchup with Kansas.

Sure do like pumpkins, Cotton.

#5 Texas (20-10) vs. #12 Colorado (9-21). The Longhorns got a great draw, despite losing their first round bye. They get to play the worst team in the conference in the first round, then are bracketed with K-State should they win. It wasn’t quite that easy when the Horns played the Buffs last, though. Second team all-conference gift receiver Damion James clanked two free throws at the end of regulation that would have won the game. James made up for it in OT, though, single-handedly outscoring the Buffs to beat them in Boulder. A.J. Abrams was on that night, pouring in 29, but UT had no answer for CU wing Cory Higgins and his 34 points. I don’t know what Barnes is going to do to counter Higgins this time around, but it needs to be something different. Still, I’m thinking Texas will be fine here and should get through to play K-State on Thursday with its front line of Pittman, Johnson and James overpowering the young, small CU post players. Colorado has to hope that Higgins goes ballistic again and Texas starts playing WTF ball like they have at times this season.

#7 Oklahoma State (20-10) vs. #10 Iowa State (15-16). This will be a de-facto home game for the Pokes. Considering this is a school that includes barrel-racing championships as a “we own you” stat, you can pretty much guarantee that there will be copious amounts of deer season-orange littering the Ford. OSU is likely already in the NCAA tournament, but at least one win in the conference tournament would seal the deal. The Cowboys are on a good run right now, winning six out of their last seven. They began that run with a 19-point win over the Cyclones in Stillwater. ISU has a mirror-image streak, losers of 11 out of their last 14. Two players to watch are ISU’s Craig Brackins (20.1 ppg) and OSU’s James Anderson (18.9 ppg), the second and third leading scorers in the conference, respectively. OSU’s supporting cast is much better, though, with three other players scoring in double figures. That coupled with the intangible of OK State playing in front of a home crowd should push them past ISU and into a Thursday Bedlam rematch with Oklahoma.

#6 Texas A&M (23-8) vs. #11 Texas Tech (13-18). The Aggies might be the most underrated team in the conference. They’ve quietly rolled up 23 wins, including their last six straight. A&M has signature wins against Mizzou and Texas, both of those at Reed Arena in College Station. Their big weapon is 6’7” wing Josh Carter, who’s hitting 40% from the three point line. His size makes him a tough cover at the 3, but he sometimes has trouble creating his own shot. A&M swept the season series against Tech, although both were tight, including the Aggies’ 6-point, foul-plagued win in Lubbock. Tech has gone from the team nobody wanted to play in the NCAA not too many years ago to nearly the Big 12 doormat, losing 16 out of its last 19. Raiders’ fans would like to say they’ve seen improvement since East Central Oklahoma dropped 167 points on them back in November, but they really can’t (unless you count not having a buck and a half scored on you again as an improvement). A&M wins this one easy and advances to play Mizzou on Thursday.