Tilting at Windmills

Let the bitching begin in earnest.

Paranoiacs and straight-up whiny bitches (you know who you are) that think they got screwed in last year’s USA Today Coaches Poll (one of the components in determining BCS rankings) can now have their little snogfest, comfortable with their conspiratorial knowledge that the world is out to get them:

The final USA Today Coaches Poll in 2010 will be secret.

Why in the world would Leach be in this discussion?

That means the theory that Stoops has half of the Big 12 (and a bunch more of the overall voters) in his pocket will now no longer be confirmed, nor denied, for it’s hard to prove or disprove something without all of the facts (not that that matters usually).

Tell me, Mrs. Vito ... does the defendant's argument hold water?

AFCA Executive Director and Baylor god (small “G”) Grant Teaff wins the award for worst analogy of the day by comparing the coaches’ votes to the United States’ electoral system:

Gallup recommended the change because confidentiality leads to a better poll, according to Teaff. “Why do you have booths for people to vote in?” he said.

It’s about accountability, coach. Nobody cares who I voted for in the ’96 presidential election, but there are a shit-ton of folks who want to know where Tech savant Mike Leach put OU (1), Tech (2) and Texas (5) in the final 2008 poll (what excuse could he possibly have for voting his own team higher than UT?).

At one level, this tells us how important college football is. The electoral college system used for selecting the POTUS is decried and some would like to change it, but there hasn’t been a serious effort to change or abolish it in almost 40 years. Voices scream almost as loud about the BCS method and there have been discussions at the highest levels of the federal government to tweak it (presumably because they have nothing better to do).

Should it really be that big of a deal, though? Do people really care that ex-Washington coach Tyrone Willingham put Texas at #4 behind USC, then got fired for putting up a donut in the win column? We’re talking about football here, not something less serious like who is going to represent us to the nation and world for the next 2, 4 or 6 years.

Coaches will still be allowed to vote for their own team, so somebody might want to tell Mack. Tired of the silliness after voters still put Missouri ahead of OU after the 2007 Big 12 Championship beatdown, Stoops stopped voting in the poll.

So, in order to address the tinfoil hat theory that says Stoops has half of the coaches in his pocket, let’s take a look at the Stoops tree and how they voted in the final 2008 poll:

Bo Pelini – OU (1), Texas (2), Florida (3), Tech (6)
Mike Leach – OU (1), Tech (2), Florida (3), Texas (5)
Steve Spurrier (South Carolina) – OU (1), Florida (2), Texas (3) … which is exactly how they finished in the overall poll.
*Art Briles (Baylor) – OU (1), Florida (2), USC (3), Bama (4), Texas (5)
Kevin Sumlin (Houston) – doesn’t vote
Mike Stoops (Arizona) – doesn’t vote
Mark Mangino (Kansas) – doesn’t vote

*Briles included because he coached for Leach, ergo some think he’s in Stoops’ coaching tree. I don’t get it, but that’s what “they” say.

It’s a silly game, but if you really want to go down that path of the “well, those coaches are in your pocket” meme, here are Mack’s:

Gene Chizik (Iowa State) – Texas (1), Florida (2), OU (3), Tech (6)
*Mack Brown (Texas) – Florida (1), Texas (2), OU (3), Tech (8)
Todd Dodge (North Texas) – Texas (1), Florida (2), OU (3), Tech (9)
Dick Tomey (Syracuse) – Florida (1), Texas (2), OU (3), Tech (9)

*Yeah, Mack votes. It’s weird how a team that beat his got ranked 6 spots lower on his ballot, too.

As you can see, the whole argument about having coaches on your side didn’t really work in 2008. Will it have any bearing in 2010 when we’ll just be guessing at the coaches’ individual ballots? Your guess is as good as mine.

If only the rest of us could be so lucky during this economic failure.

Former Kansas State head coach Ron Prince, who was fired midway through the 2008 football season for fear KState would return to looking like … KState, stands to make $3.2 million for doing absolutely nothing if he can stave off a lawsuit filed by his former employer.

According to the suit, Bob Krause, who resigned as KState’s athletic director at the end of March, worked out a secret golden parachute agreement with Prince’s agent that would pay the Power-Toweler enough for lunch with Warren Buffet, plus enough leftover for a tip.

Hopefully Buffet will still be around when Prince, if he wins the suit, collects. The contract states Prince is due to collect $800,000 in 2015, $800,000 in 2016 and $1.6 million in 2020. It’s a pretty sweet deal for a coach who went 17-20 over three seasons, yet managed to sign a five-year contract extension before the 2008 season. By the way, that contract had a $1.2 mil buyout in it.

Wait … Ron Prince … Prince’s gold, golden powerchute, power towel, shower towel, golden shower!

Now it’s making sense.