Tilting at Windmills

Here we are, folks. The heat is bearing down, we’re relegated to watching Tour de France and tennis (I’m sure some of you are actually baseball fans) and we’re pat-pat-patting our feet in anticipation of late August and early September.

Well, it’s closer than we think. Students will be returning to campus in about a month, meaning fall practices will be starting around the same time. We at TaW are itching to get going now, though.

So, to cure your football fix through the heat and anticipation in July, we’re going to bring you a six-week series previewing the fortunes of all 12 conference teams and their coaches.

We’ll start this week with Nebraska and culminate in August with your Oklahoma Sooners. Here’s a preview of what to expect:

Week of July 6

Nebraska

In his first full season at the helm of the Cornhuskers, Bo Pelini improved a 5-7 team in 2007 to 9-4 in 2008. ponderos will look at what the defensive-minded Pelini can do to capitalize on the Huskers’ big bowl win over Clemson and what the Big Red will look like with junior Zac Lee taking over from the prolific Joe Ganz under center.

Just sayin ...

Week of July 13

Missouri

How will Mizzou look in the post-Chase Daniel era? We’ll find out a lot about Gary Pinkel’s coaching ability as he cobbles together an offense without the talents of Daniel and all-everything receiver Jeremy Maclin.

Iowa State

The Cyclones are hoping that another ex-Auburn defensive coordinator, Paul Rhoads, can turn around the fortunes from the mess left behind by Gene Chizik. ISU is paying Rhoads a reported $5.75 million over 5 years, so at least the financial commitment is there. ponderos will examine ISU’s upcoming 2009 season, which will ride and fall on the shoulders of second-year starter, dual-threat quarterback Austen Arnaud.

Week of July 20

Colorado

Is Dan Hawkins on the hot seat? He’s 8-17 in his three years in Boulder and has yet to have a winning season. TaW’s Blatant Homer will talk about whether Hawkins can put enough wins together in 2009 to save his job.

Kansas

Mark Mangino might be the most underrated coach in the country. He’s 3-1 in bowl games since taking over in 2002, including a big BCS win in the 2007 FedEx Orange Bowl. Oread Boom Kings’ Hiphopopotamus will give a Kansas fan’s perspective of the 2009 season, which will no doubt include a look at quarterback Todd Reesing, who might just be the best signal-caller in the Big 12 north this year.

Week of July 27

Kansas State

“Sleepless in Manhattan” returns to the Purple Power this year as Bill Snyder tries to turn around a program that unceremoniously dumped Ron Prince under dubious circumstances. TaW’s Coach Bo has a, ahem … special affinity for the Wildcats and will bring a unique perspective to the KSU 2009 preview. Don’t forget your Power Towel!

Baylor

TaW’s Big 12 South coverage will begin in Waco where the preseason excitement hasn’t been this high in over 20 years when Grant Teaff was at the helm. Sophomore quarterback Robert Griffin is for real and is already giving coaches around the Big 12 gameplanning fits (H/T, Mike Sherman). TaW’s Blatant Homer will preview the Bears’ 2009 chances under second-year head coach Art Briles, who already has an A&M pelt on his wall and scared the bejeezus out of Tech and Missouri last season.

Week of August 3

Texas Tech

It bears repeating: Tech beat Texas last year. The single-biggest win in corsair Mike Leach’s career caused the entire Longhorn nation to collectively and permanantly lodge their panties in their cracks. The Tortilla Retort’s dedfischer will look at the monumental task Leach has in front of him this year after losing quarterback Graham Harrell and All-American wideout Michael Crabtree.

Oklahoma State

How many years will OSU be a program on the rise? Mike “I’m a man!” Gundy had his Cowboys in the Top 10 at one time last year and many feel they should be there in the preseason, mainly due to dual-threat quarterback Zac Robinson. TaW’s duncansooner takes one for the team to research and document the Pokes’ 2009 season. No word on if he’ll offend any mothers … of children.

Week of August 10

Texas A&M

Second-year head coach Mike Sherman (4-8 in his first year at College Station) would be on one of the hottest seats in the country were it not for other problems in College Station. TaW will look at whether the Sherminator can solve the myriad of problems facing the Aggies in 2009, which include doing something about a 3-10 record to the Lubbock Sand Aggies since the inception of the Big 12, and what looks to be an ugly trip to Norman.



Don't you wish you had him back, Aggies?

Texas

BCS-gate, Asterisk-gate and another year without a conference title. Sounds like nothing much has changed for Mack Brown and the Horns. They’re pinning their hopes on a 2-1 record in the last 3 games against Oklahoma, though. TaW will look at UT’s fortunes with third-place Heisman finisher Colt McCoy returning for his senior season and Sergio Kindle trying desperately to stay on the team, barring his turning any more west campus housing into a Junior’s Party Barn drive-thru.



Add that to the trophy case, Mack.

Week of August 17

Oklahoma

Is this the year Stoops finally gets over the BCS hump? Some publications are putting OU’s defense as tops in the country. Indeed, the Sooners’ defensive line could rival the Harris-Dvoracek front from the early 2000s. Heisman winner Sam Bradford will have to prove his worth after losing four of five of his guys up front, but he still has dangerous weapons like two 1,000-yard rushers in DeMarco Murray and Chris Brown, plus the freakishly-talented Jermaine Gresham.

Let the bitching begin in earnest.

Paranoiacs and straight-up whiny bitches (you know who you are) that think they got screwed in last year’s USA Today Coaches Poll (one of the components in determining BCS rankings) can now have their little snogfest, comfortable with their conspiratorial knowledge that the world is out to get them:

The final USA Today Coaches Poll in 2010 will be secret.

Why in the world would Leach be in this discussion?

That means the theory that Stoops has half of the Big 12 (and a bunch more of the overall voters) in his pocket will now no longer be confirmed, nor denied, for it’s hard to prove or disprove something without all of the facts (not that that matters usually).

Tell me, Mrs. Vito ... does the defendant's argument hold water?

AFCA Executive Director and Baylor god (small “G”) Grant Teaff wins the award for worst analogy of the day by comparing the coaches’ votes to the United States’ electoral system:

Gallup recommended the change because confidentiality leads to a better poll, according to Teaff. “Why do you have booths for people to vote in?” he said.

It’s about accountability, coach. Nobody cares who I voted for in the ’96 presidential election, but there are a shit-ton of folks who want to know where Tech savant Mike Leach put OU (1), Tech (2) and Texas (5) in the final 2008 poll (what excuse could he possibly have for voting his own team higher than UT?).

At one level, this tells us how important college football is. The electoral college system used for selecting the POTUS is decried and some would like to change it, but there hasn’t been a serious effort to change or abolish it in almost 40 years. Voices scream almost as loud about the BCS method and there have been discussions at the highest levels of the federal government to tweak it (presumably because they have nothing better to do).

Should it really be that big of a deal, though? Do people really care that ex-Washington coach Tyrone Willingham put Texas at #4 behind USC, then got fired for putting up a donut in the win column? We’re talking about football here, not something less serious like who is going to represent us to the nation and world for the next 2, 4 or 6 years.

Coaches will still be allowed to vote for their own team, so somebody might want to tell Mack. Tired of the silliness after voters still put Missouri ahead of OU after the 2007 Big 12 Championship beatdown, Stoops stopped voting in the poll.

So, in order to address the tinfoil hat theory that says Stoops has half of the coaches in his pocket, let’s take a look at the Stoops tree and how they voted in the final 2008 poll:

Bo Pelini – OU (1), Texas (2), Florida (3), Tech (6)
Mike Leach – OU (1), Tech (2), Florida (3), Texas (5)
Steve Spurrier (South Carolina) – OU (1), Florida (2), Texas (3) … which is exactly how they finished in the overall poll.
*Art Briles (Baylor) – OU (1), Florida (2), USC (3), Bama (4), Texas (5)
Kevin Sumlin (Houston) – doesn’t vote
Mike Stoops (Arizona) – doesn’t vote
Mark Mangino (Kansas) – doesn’t vote

*Briles included because he coached for Leach, ergo some think he’s in Stoops’ coaching tree. I don’t get it, but that’s what “they” say.

It’s a silly game, but if you really want to go down that path of the “well, those coaches are in your pocket” meme, here are Mack’s:

Gene Chizik (Iowa State) – Texas (1), Florida (2), OU (3), Tech (6)
*Mack Brown (Texas) – Florida (1), Texas (2), OU (3), Tech (8)
Todd Dodge (North Texas) – Texas (1), Florida (2), OU (3), Tech (9)
Dick Tomey (Syracuse) – Florida (1), Texas (2), OU (3), Tech (9)

*Yeah, Mack votes. It’s weird how a team that beat his got ranked 6 spots lower on his ballot, too.

As you can see, the whole argument about having coaches on your side didn’t really work in 2008. Will it have any bearing in 2010 when we’ll just be guessing at the coaches’ individual ballots? Your guess is as good as mine.