Tilting at Windmills

Every school has them: people whose very existence sucks up needed oxygen that the rest of us could put to better use.

OU beat “reporters” Dean Blevins and James Hale are to journalism as cholera is to my digestive tract. The next time either one of them say anything relevant or do any actual “reporting” will be the first.

Today’s complete waste of space comes straight out of Austin, though. May I present, Geoff Ketchum, whose reputation (like Hale) is built on incessantly calling 17-18 year old kids and encouraging asking them to come to the school he covers … and if they’re not, why not. Both guys are a walking knuckle-dragging NCAA violation waiting to happen. Unlike Hale, Ketchum can (sometimes) spell and string coherent sentences together and, unlike our former commander in chief, doesn’t completely make up a new language with words and phrases like “saddenly” and “for all intensive purposes.” Seriously, if you’re in for a laugh and not wanting anything of real substance, wait about 3-4 days after an OU game for Hale to get off his fat, Structure sweater vest-wearing ass to hunt and peck out a postgame report that was dictated to him by the OU SID. Whatever you do, though, don’t pretend you know a thing about the English language because apparently they didn’t have a Grammar 101 class in the federal pen.

Anywho, today’s skilly (H/T James!) is about Ketchum, or “Ketch” as he likes to be called by sycophants who like sucking up to suckups. Ketch is full of great zingers, such as going live on Austin radio a few years back and proclaiming Bob Stoops to have “never landed a recruit that Mack Brown wanted.” This was around 2006.

Even Longhorn fans think Ketchum’s a douche. Yesterday’s whopper, however, was maybe Ketch’s best moment. During his afternoon Austin radio show, he had Will Carroll, a baseball guy who writes for Baseball Prospectus, tell him emphatically that Bradford is done for the season. Naturally, Ketchum lapped it right up like the good Pavlovian he is whenever there’s something even remotely negative to “report” about OU. Shortly after the interview, Ketch posted this on his message board (and I’m not even going to give him the courtesy of a reacharound link):

Just talked to Will Carroll on The Drive and he said that Sam Bradford’s injury is considered worse than they originally thought and there’s probably o way he gets back in six weeks…eight weeks at the earliest.

I asked him if some of the stuff I had heard was true:

1. Three doctors have told him to all but shut it down.
2. His family doesn’t want him to play.
3. Stoops and Sam are pushing for a return and waiting for some good news that isn’t likely coming.

He said what I mentioned was almost exactly what’s going on.

I’ll have the audio up within the hour. Really interesting stuff.

That’s really interesting stuff, Ketch! Let’s trace the ethos of your source and see if we can find any credibility since you have zero:

1. Will Carroll is a baseball guy who writes about, well, baseball shit – not football.
2. Will Carroll lives in Illinois which isn’t even remotely close to Oklahoma or any inside sources he may think he has.
3. A quick Google search reveals this about Will Carroll:
   Carroll is sometimes criticized in sports forums for his reporting of injury and trade rumors.

   For example, critics cite his statements:

   * That a trade of Manny Ramirez to the Florida Marlins had been completed and sent to the commissioner’s office for perfunctory approval. Ramirez was later traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers.
   * That a trade of Johan Santana to the Boston Red Sox was all but done at the 2008 deadline. Santana stayed with the Minnesota Twins and later joined the New York Mets.
   * Ramirez having a torn meniscus in 2008. He finished the 2008 season with one of the best performances by any hitter in 2008.

   In his defense, Carroll explains that the rumors he reports on constantly change, and in any case he does not state them as definite facts. One of Carroll’s columns is aptly titled ‘the Rumor Mill’.

Wow, so Carroll makes a living at writing a bullshit column about … bullshit. It’s also baseball bullshit, which is supposed to be his forte and he’s not even getting that right.

Even more interesting that people with actual connections inside the OU program (H/T Josh McCustion) say that Bradford has been throwing in practice, as far back as last week before the Idaho State game. It’s what I’m being told and I don’t have the link for it, unfortunately, because it’s on a $ site, but if you’re interested, by all means go find the information and tell Josh I sent you (that’ll be 5 more sheckels, Josh).

So, from this we can infer that Bradford is likely on track to return in “2-4 weeks” from the time of his injury, like we’re being told. Of course, I’m not reporting that as fact, although I would like Will Carroll’s “informed” opinion on the subject.

The loud noise you hear may be all the bandwagon fans jumping off the Sooner Schooner. With Gresham gone and questions surrounding Bradford’s return, critics like Orangbloods.com’s Geoff Ketchum are coming out of the woodwork. If Stoops’ success depended on the mental state of OU’s fanbase, the forecast would be very bleak indeed.

In reality, things probably weren’t as rosey as we Sooner fans posited in preaseason — and they’re probably not as bleak as some of the doom-and-gloom tripe filling Sooner message boards today.

In fact, the national championship goal set by Gresham, Bradford, McCoy and Williams may well be in reach if history is any indication of what will happen this year. In 1983, Bernie Kosar was the Miami Hurricanes QB. Things started out rough for the ‘Canes that year — they dropped their first game with a 28-3 loss to in-state rival Florida. It would have been easy for Kosar and company to “play comfortable”. After all, it takes great commitment to totally sell out to the team. Somehow the 1983 ‘Canes found that resolve, ran the table, and ended the season as national champs.

A similar thing happened with the 1966 Alabama team. The ’66 Crimson Tide lost their first game — a one-point heartbreaker to Georgia. But 9 wins and 1 tie later, they were AP national champs.

Of the 73 national champs crowned by the Associated Press, 24 have suffered one or more losses. Chances are, a loss to BYU won’t preclude OU from reaching a national championship. Sure this team will face some huge challenges in the coming days — but critics like those in Austin do not know how the story will end just yet. The 2009 Sooners have something to say about that.

I can’t make up stuff this good: a day after the world learned that UT claims a 2008 Big 12 football championship, Asterisk-gate continues on the 40 Acres. DeLoss Dodds has decided to pay $44,000 in bonuses to Mack’s assistant coaches as part of a contractual-incentive for winning … the Big 12 championship. Be sure to read some of the comments. They’re priceless.

So, in honor of this silliness, we at TaW thought we’d map out the timeline to see how we got here. A special thanks to DeLoss Dodds and the UT SID for helping out us bloggers during football nuclear winter.

May 20 and 22, 2008: Annual Big 12 spring meetings

Football revenue-sharing and player eligibility highlight the agenda. Most are mainly looking forward to seeing the conference’s success over the past 10 years translating into something besides chicken casserole and soggy rolls at the media trough buffet.

July 31, 2008: Big 12 issues press release regarding divisional tie-breaking procedures

Ah … here they are: the tiebreaker procedures that will be used in the 2008 season. It’s good the Big 12 did this just in case there’s a question later and we need to refer back. Some of these are a little bit overkill, though. A three-way tie? There’s no way would that ever happen*.

Divisional Champion: The (eligible) team with the best winning-percentage of all divisional members in its eight conference games is declared the divisional champion and representative to the Dr Pepper Big 12 Conference Football Championship Game. A team ineligible under NCAA or Big 12 rules for postseason (bowl) competition shall not compete in the Championship Game.

Divisional Tiebreakers:

The following procedure will determine the representative from each division in the event of a tie:

a. If two teams are tied, the winner of the game between the two tied teams shall be the representative
b. If three or more teams are tied, steps 1 through 7 will be followed until a determination is made. If only two teams remain tied after any step, the winner of the game between the two tied teams shall be the representative.
1. The records of the three teams will be compared against each other
2. The records of the three teams will be compared within their division
3. The records of the three teams will be compared against the next highest placed teams in their division in order of finish (4, 5 and 6)
4. The records of the three teams will be compared against all common conference opponents;
5. The highest ranked team in the first Bowl Championship Series Poll following the completion of Big 12 regular season conference play shall be the representative
6. The team with the best overall winning percentage [excluding exempted games] shall be the representative
7. The representative will be chosen by draw.

August 30, 2008: College football season starts.

Our summer of discontent has finally ended and football season has started. #4 OU sleepwalks 57-2 past Tennessee-Chattanooga with Joey Halzle throwing a touchdown pass in the second quarter to put OU ahead 50-0 at halftime. This prompts the first of many shrill cries throughout the season that the Sooners run up the score (hereafter abbreviated “RUTS”). Howard Schnellenburger spends too long at Scholz’s and misses kickoff of the game between his Florida Atlantic Owls and #11 Texas. He missed his quarterback’s happy-go-jacky routine against UT’s young secondary, putting up over 2 bills through the air by halftime. By the time Drunkenberger shows up, UT’s on the way to crushing FAU 52-10.

September 13, 2008: Get bent, Pac-10

Sam Bradford has maybe his finest game as a Sooner, completing 18 of 21 passes for 304 yards and 5 TDs. The #3 Sooners smashed UDub in Seattle, which despite the Huskies finishing the year as one of the worst teams in college football, it finally showed that OU could perform well on the road. The shrill cries this week came from people warning everybody in Austin to build an ark before Hurricane Ike washed the entire city away. UT postpones its ass-kicking of Arkansas while just enough rain fell in Austin to fill a pitcher of diluted margaritas at El Arroyo.

October 11, 2008: UT wins Red River Rivalry

Bradford throws for 387 yards and 5 TDs, but thanks to an inability to stop #5 Texas in crucial second half situations (that was your backup plan, Venables? Seriously?), #1 OU falls to Texas, 45-35. With the win, Texas takes essentially a two-game lead in the Big 12 South (see Tiebreaker A). Brainfart Players of the Game are shared by Brent Venables, Brandon Crow and the entire Sooner kickoff coverage team. Two phantom personal fouls against Colt McCoy and a disallowed Sooner interception in the end zone leave Oklahoma fans seething.

October 25, 2008: OU 58, Kansas State 35

The #4 Sooners look like they’re playing Madden 2008 on Playstation as they put up 55 points by halftime on Kstate, prompting cries of RUTSing by those who didn’t actually watch the game. This running theme will continue.

November 1, 2008: #7 Texas Tech 39, #1 Texas 33.

Tech’s Michael Crabtree shakes free of two Longhorn tacklers and scores with :01 second left to upset Texas and turn the college football nation upside down. Leach says his team plays 60 minutes, including the last minute of the game. By Monday, Texas fans will forget this game ever happened. With this game, Tech is now – gasp – atop the Big 12 South and just has to win at Oklahoma to go to the Big 12 championship.

Meanwhile on that same night back in Norman, #4 OU is teabagging Nebraska 28-0 with 9:30 to play in the first quarter on the way to a 62-28 rout. (insert RUTS meme)

November 8, 2008: #6 Oklahoma 66, Texas A&M 28.

After dropping 60 on Nebraska, the BCS has no love for the Sooners and drops them two spots. OU takes out its frustration by hanging 60 again, this time at College Station. It was 21-0 at the end of the first quarter. OU had 66 points with 3:54 still to play in the third quarter, the final points coming on Dom Franks’ 39-yard fumble return. RUTS cries continue from those who don’t have televisions or eyes.

November 22, 2008: #5 Oklahoma 65, #2 Texas Tech 21.

It was 42-7 by halftime and the entire stadium was jumping around. Bradford threw deep for a 66-yard pass to Ryan Broyles late in the third quarter. OK, maybe Stoops ran this one up, but he and the entire team was pissed. With the win over previously undefeated Tech, there is now a three-way logjam atop the Big 12 South standings between OU, Tech and Texas. Longhorns immediately begin discounting Tech since the Sand Aggies just got beat by 44 points, essentially trying to punish OU for doing what Texas should have done itself three weeks earlier. The politicking begins.

November 29, 2008: #3 Oklahoma 61, #12 Oklahoma State 41.

OU wins a wild, back-and-forth shootout in Stillwater by scoring 17 points in the last 8 minutes of the game. Despite this being a tight, three-point game with 10 minutes to play, people like Geoff Ketchum convince themselves that OU is once again* RUTSing. I call Ketchum’s show and rhetorically call him a “freaking idiot” on the air. UT fans and interwebs posters are convinced that there’s not even a prayer that OU will jump Texas in the BCS poll (UT is ranked #2, OU #3). As shown in the above-cited tiebreaker procedures released from the Big 12 offices four months prior, the team that is rated higher in the next BCS poll will go to the Big 12 championship the following week and will play North Division champion for the Big 12 title.

December 1, 2008: OU jumps Texas in BCS poll.

Neither airplane banners nor Mack’s politickin’ nor the plaintive wailing of “45-35” could make BCS voters forget that Texas lost to Texas Tech. OU’s blowouts down the stretch impressed the voters as much as UT’s whining turned them off, and they install OU as the #2 team in the nation, behind Florida and just ahead of Texas. Since there is a three-way tie in the Big 12 South (not a two-way tie, but a three way … you don’t get to discount losses whenever it’s convenient, Texas), according to rule b(5) posted above, OU will play Missouri for the Big 12 championship next week in Kansas City:

The highest ranked team in the first Bowl Championship Series Poll following the completion of Big 12 regular season conference play shall be the representative

In a presser following the announcement, Stoops makes sure to point out that there were three teams, not two, involved in the process. Oh, and maybe (just maybe) OU deserved to go just as much as the other two.

December 14, 2008: Sam Bradford wins Heisman

Bradford had the best season in school history for a quarterback, throwing for 4,700 yards and 50 TDs, and leading the highest-scoring team in NCAA history. Heisman voters chose him over Colt McCoy and Jesus Tebow. What does this have to do with Asterisk-gate and UT not playing for the Big 12 championship? In reality, nothing. However, in the failed logic of UT fans, it was just another reason to think that somehow the rules they couldn’t change after the fact or whine their way around screwed them.

January 8, 2009: #2 Florida 24, #1 Oklahoma 14

The Sooners come up just short of winning their 8th national championship, but when the other team has Jesus at quarterback, really what can you do? What does this have to do with Asterisk-gate and UT not playing for the Big 12 championship? In reality, nothing. However, in the failed logic of UT fans, it was just another reason to think that somehow the rules they couldn’t change after the fact or whine their way around screwed them. Obviously UT would have been in this game if they had just played in Kansas City instead of Oklahoma because, you know, it was like a foregone conclusion and whatnot that they’d beat Missouri. Duh.

February 13, 2008: Asterisk-gate gains momentum

Woodward and Bernstein Our friends at the Red Dirt Kings are among the first to notice that UT is somehow claiming a Big 12 championship they did not win. Unfortunately, the big boy media either doesn’t see the story, or because they didn’t report it themselves, choose to ignore it. Of course we at TaW, never to be confused with the big boy media, were all over it and so were the tens of loyal readers.

April 5, 2008: The sh*t hits the fan

Texas’ spring game the prior Sunday had all kinds of media inside the bowels of UT’s Moncrief-Neuhaus athletic shrine. Somebody finally noticed what had been up there for at least two weeks: the Horns are claiming they won* a Big 12 championship. Much laughter and derision ensue.

April 6, 2008: UT decides to take down the 2008*

After repeated calls and guffaws from, well, pretty much everybody, the UT SID decides to pull the offending numbers (and asterisk) off the wall. Mack Brown claims he knew nothing about it, according to Asst. SID John Bianco, who prefaced the canned statement it with “let me answer that for Mack.” I sort of don’t blame Mack for not minding the 2008* being on the wall. After all, if you only have one conference title in a quarter century as a Division I head coach, you’ll take all the help you can get.

April 7, 2008: Longhorn coaches get bonuses for winning* Big 12 Championship

In what essentially amounts to “yeah, we still think we won it,” UT decides to go ahead and pay Mack’s assistants bonuses they would have received had they actually won the Big 12 Championship the way you’re supposed to: playing for it on the field and taking home a trophy. UT president William Powers said it was “the right decision.” Mack didn’t get a bonus, ostensibly because after further review, the Longhorns actually didn’t win shit.

April 8, 2008: Where does Asterisk-gate go from here?

Bloggers can only hope the madness continues as we search for something – anything – to write about from now until fall practice begins. Given the reputation for clownish antics on the 40 Acres, we at TaW might have to dig deep and hire a phalanx of writers to keep up.

Several Austin businesses and retailers have decided to shutter their doors and eschew profits this weekend for fear of the crowds and subsequent revenue generated by the annual 82nd annual Clyde Littlefield Texas Relays.

I agree – that doesn’t make sense.

For those outside the state of Texas, or who just don’t follow the event, the Texas Relays is one of the premier track and field competitions in the country. The meet is legendary: Knute Rockne was the meet’s referee in 1929. Held every year in mid-April at Mike Myers Stadium (e.g., mini-DKR), the spectacle reels in some of the top track and field talent in the world. Virginia Tech’s Queen Harrison, who ran the 400-meters for the U.S. Olympic squad, is at this year’s event. World 100m and 200m champion Tyson Gay (who currently holds the American 100m record at 9.77 seconds) anchored the fastest 4x100m relay team of the day in the prelims. Three-time Olympic gold medalist and four-time world champion Jeremy Wariner blistered the track with a 45.2 anchor leg for his team’s 4x400m relay.

The Austin Convention and Visitors Bureau estimates 40,000 people will attend the event, generating an estimated $8 million in revenue for the city. As proof that Austin is also the Live Music Capitol of the World, the annual Urban Music Festival will showcase Boyz II Men, Cameo and the Sugar Hill Gang this weekend, too, meaning there are likely thousands more who might not necessarily attend the Relays, but will definitely go see Larry Blackmon’s codpiece.

So, why would Sixth Street clubs like Emo’s and the Flamingo Cantina, and the huge shopping complex Highland Mall, decide to close rather than rake in fistloads of cash over the next few days?

If you have any wherewithal about you, you’ve probably figured out the predominant ethnic makeup of the estimated 40,000 people: African-American.

Before knee-jerking and going willy-shrilly at even the slightest hint that something may be biased because of someone’s race (read: racist), know that some of these business owners have a point.

In those businesses’ defense, the Texas Relays weekend can be a little trying, to say the least. Angela Gillen, owner of Sixth Street’s Flamingo Cantina (a predominantly reggae bar) says her perception is that Texas Relays weekend “seems like it’s a big gun party in the street” and that it’s “counterproductive” to stay open.

Bill Corsello, general manager of Emo’s nightclub (a popular live music venue in the heart of Sixth Street), says it’s a financial decision to close this weekend, saying “people just want to be on the street. They don’t want to go into our club.” That gibes with Austin Police Chief Patti Robinson’s noting that many of the downtown partiers are underage and cannot get into the clubs, so they hang around outside, forcing her to put an additional 100 APD patrolling the downtown streets.

Highland Mall’s closing is a little curious, but there’s a history there that at least gives them a little benefit of the doubt. “There are malls where white people go and malls where white people used to go,” Chris Rock tells us. Highland is the latter. What used to be a bustling, high-trafficked and well-heeled place to shop has turned into ground zero for Austin urban thuggery on the weekends. For those of you who know Oklahoma City, think Crossroads. Two years ago, the mall shut down during Texas Relays weekend due to “unruly crowds” (read: a stabbing). Highland Mall claiming that there’s an increase in unruliness anytime is laughable. In a city known for its relative safety and low crime rate, you ask anybody where in Austin are you most likely to get assaulted or clipped in a drive-by. Those that don’t say Rundberg Lane will say Highland Mall (those that do say Rundberg will follow it up quickly with “Highland, too.”).

Austin’s television news stations aren’t exactly known for hard-hitting, thought-provoking journalism, but KVUE News’ Quita Culpepper, someone in the business I’ve always respected, actually put together some statistics that show recent crime hasn’t been any worse during Texas Relays weekend than it is during ACL fest or the ROT Biker Rally (where African-American attendees are as scarce as they are prevalent during the Relays).

So, can these businesses make a case to say that the color of the Texas Relay revelers’ money is no good? Sure. Does it send a good signal to those coming into town, and others who are on the outside looking in? Definitely not.

For those who don’t live in Austin, it’s is a city where a nasty, homeless, filthy crossdresser can come in second in the mayoral race, getting nearly 7.75% of the vote. (Note: you’re not funny or edgy anymore, Leslie. Quit bringing your stink and your leathery man-ass hanging out of that pink thong past my outdoor patio table at Guero’s when I’m trying to eat my damned fajita tacos). The city’s unofficial motto “Keep Austin Weird,” while a trite touristy slogan now, started off as a sincere sentiment that the majority of the population remember that the city became successful by celebrating its diversity.

Many still remember some of the old wounds that Austinites would like to think have healed, but stories like this one concerning the Texas Relays weekend reminds us that they’re still visible:

• UT has the dubious distinction of fielding the last all-white national football champion in 1969. In 1970, Julius Whittier, a backup lineman, was the token African-American on the Longhorns roster. He backs up Darrell Royal’s claim that DKR wanted to recruit African-Americans (he had coached African-American players at two previous coaching stops), but that the culture surrounding the university and the football program wouldn’t allow it. Whether true or not, it didn’t stop Barry Switzer from cherry-picking Texas high school African-American sensations like Joe Washington, Greg Pruitt and Thomas Lott, telling them either directly or overtly implying that they’d never get a chance to play at UT because of the color of their skin. It also didn’t help when the 2008 movie The Express brought back some painful memories of Syracuse’s Ernie Davis, the first African-American to win the Heisman Trophy, suffering racism at the hands of, among others, DKR’s Longhorns in the 1960 Cotton Bowl.


Whiter than an albino mime.

• Austin’s Police Department has had to unfortunately defend itself over claims of racism in the past. Granted, you probably can’t find a law enforcement agency that hasn’t had some kind of abuse or bias claims against it. Not everybody is the LAPD, though. The APD’s rep depends on who you ask. When former APD chief Stan Knee retired in 2007, he was commended by Austin’s NAACP for his work in addressing and reducing incidents that could be construed as racial profiling. When he first assumed the top post at APD, he had the incredibly difficult task of cleaning up a piss-poor community relations perception after the now-infamous 1995 Cedar Avenue riots. Again, the details of the incident depend on who you ask, but the facts we know are that on February 14, 1995, after an African-American resident in East Austin called 911 to say he had ejected a gang member from his party because he was carrying a gun, 65 Austin police officers swooped in and beat, maced and cattle-prodded over a dozen party-goers while others were threatened at gunpoint. The city eventually reached a financial settlement with some of the aggrieved parties, but the emotional scars no doubt still linger for some.

• Knee was lauded for expanding his predecessor Elizabeth Watson’s community policing program to improve relations with East Austin, but with a city of Austin’s size and ethnically-diverse makeup, unfortunate incidents keep the wounds from completely healing. Since 2002, white APD officers have shot and killed four minority residents. The 2003 killing of Jessie Owens by white APD officer Scott Glasgow galvanized East Austin. A District Judge threw out criminally-negligent homicide charges against Glasgow and the DOJ later ruled that Glasgow did not violate Owens’ civil rights when he killed him. The white officer’s punishment for taking a black teen’s life ended up being a 90 day suspension (without pay).

There are more recent examples, too:

• Geoff Ketchum’s afternoon show on Austin’s ESPN radio didn’t help matters this week when it referred to Texas Relays weekend as “South-by-Southwest for black folks.” I heard it with my own ears. I guess they thought that was OK, though, because their producer “AT,” an African-American female, said it.

• Lifted from the “I can’t believe there are still people like this” files, Longhorn backup lineman Buck Burnette was dismissed from the team this past season for “unspecified violation of team rules.” We can go ahead and glean that the specific violation was his Facebook status on November 5, 2008, the day after President Obama was elected, saying “all the hunters gather up. there’s a n***** in the White House.” In Burnett’s “apology,” he said he was just passing along what he thought was a funny text message from a friend and that “I grew up on a ranch in a small town where that was a real thing and I need to grow up.” I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it means. He also indicated that he thought his real transgression was merely expressing that thought publicly. Credit Mack Brown for showing this redneck the door post haste.

Flash forward to today in 2009, in the most progressive city in the state of Texas, the azure blue island in a sea of red. Is race playing a factor in these businesses shutting down on a huge financial windfall weekend? Living in Austin for a decade and a half and seeing the dynamics of the city at work, I can honestly say no. Does it look good, though? Honestly, no it doesn’t. At worst, it’s a very bad PR move and reflects poorly on a city still working to mend fences with its minority communities. Gossip can spread like wildfire in situations like these and people not prone to weigh all of the facts could easily jump to the “those folks are a bunch of racists” conclusion. Likewise, the other side should have thought further ahead at the impact their actions would have on the minds of tens of thousands of people coming to Austin to party, have fun and most importantly to business leaders, spend money.