Tilting at Windmills

We start our in-depth look at the Big 12 landscape this year in the North where graduations affect some, not so much others and, when it comes down to it, scheduling could play the most important part.

The look from here says Nebraska’s combination of scheduling and defense should be enough to get them to the Big 12 championship game at Jerryworld in December. It won’t be easy, though, as Kansas may have something to say about it, as will question marks in the offense.

1. Nebraska

Bill Callahan nearly ran a once-proud program into the ground. At times, he seemed more concerned with throat-slashes, fans “throwing fruit,” and being a general all-around asshat than he did coaching the Big Red machine. Former Husker assistant Bo Pelini took over the helm last season, turning around a team that had gone 5-7 in 2007 (just their second losing season in 40 years – both of them under Callahan) and guided them to 10 wins and a Gator Bowl win.

Pelini will be replacing quarterback Joe Ganz, who threw for 3,500 yards and 25 touchdowns in 2008. Sophomore Zac Lee looks to be the one getting the nod, although he’s only thrown two career passes. He’ll have running back Roy Helu behind him, who despite starting just two games in 2008, led the team in rushing yards (803) and rushing touchdowns (7).

Fans hope Pelini, a defensive coach by trade, can bring back the Blackshirts. They’ll rally around 6’4″, 300-pound, senior defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh, who led the Husker defense in tackles (85), sacks (7.5), interceptions (2 … really, he led the team in picks??), QB hurries (7) and seconds on extra gravy boats at the Omaha Cracker Barrel.

Scheduling is where the Huskers get the biggest break. Yes, they have to play Oklahoma, but it’s in Lincoln. Yes, they have to go to Columbia and Lawrence, but the Tigers and Jayhawks have scheduling problems of their own. In the usual battle of attrition in the Big 12 North, Nebraska should be the team coming out on top and playing for the Big 12 Championship in December.

2. Kansas

The force is strong in Lawrence with pequeña signal-caller Todd Reesing returning for his senior season, and All-American candidate wideout Dezmon Briscoe (he’s still wide open down the sidelines, Venables … cover his ass) set to become the school’s all-time receptions leader before conference play even starts. In my mind, Mark Mangino is one of the best coaches in the country and will have the Rock Chalkers in contention for the North title. In fact, they’ll probably be favored to beat Nebraska in Lawrence on November 14. However, they do have to play Oklahoma (in Lawrence, thankfully) and make trips to Lubbock and Austin. That’s potentially three losses right there and dropping that many games in the North this year will have you sitting at home watching the Big 12 CCG.

3. Missouri

Although they’re the two-time reigning Big 12 North representative in the championship game, head coach Gary Pinkel will be retooling the offense after losing their biggest tool, Chase Daniel. All-world wideout and return specialist Jeremy Maclin will be drawing a paycheck from the Phildalphia Eagles in 2009, so Pinkel will have his cutesy, why-the-hell-are-you-calling-a-trick-play-NOW work cut out for him. Can 6’5″ quarterback Blaine Gabbert and 1,000-yard rusher Derrick Washington be enough on offense? In the Big 12 North, maybe. However, they open conference play with Nebraska, then go to Stillwater seven days later and come back home the next week to host Texas. Mizzou needs to win at least one of those three to have any shot at the Big 12 north title.

4. Colorado

Now we’re just drawing straws for the lower half of the North division. Colorado probably has enough talent to eek out the Kansas and Iowa ag schools, but unless they have a winning record and go bowling (doubtful and seriously doubt it), Dan Hawkins might be coaching intramurals this time next year. The Hawk may be platooning quarterbacks and running backs, and the defense loses six starters. The Buffs’ saving grace is that they get Kansas, Nebraska and Missouri all in Boulder. CU fans shudder at the thought of roadtrips to Austin and Stillwater, though.

5. Kansas State

Goodnight, sweet Prince. Hello again, Bill Snyder. The Wildcat fanbase doesn’t even acknowledge having a B.S. (before-Snyder) football program and, well, maybe they’re right. Snyder did accomplish one of the major turnarounds in college football history, taking the worst program in the history of the sport and making them conference title contenders. However, that was the Big 8. Snyder’s biggest win? A Big 12 conference title game shellacking over OU. The Wildcats must go to Norman on Halloween this year and unless he can raise the ghost of Darren Sproles, that one could get ugly. Other road trips to Lincoln and Lubbock mean … well, you get the picture.

6. Iowa State

A new year, a new Auburn DC running the ship in Ames. Surely Paul Rhoads can’t do worse than Gene Chizik’s two years there. I’ll put on my Harry Carey voice (just go with it) and ask: how does a guy who went 5-19 get the head coach position at Auburn? Austen Arnaud is a talented quarterback, but he might have to carry the load by himself. Unless you’re Vince Young (and he’s not), a one-man show is not going to win in Lawrence, Columbia and Lincoln. ISU also draws OSU and Baylor (in Ames) out of the South. The Bears’ Robert Griffin already went apeshit on the Cyclones once – he may just do it again.

Let the bitching begin in earnest.

Paranoiacs and straight-up whiny bitches (you know who you are) that think they got screwed in last year’s USA Today Coaches Poll (one of the components in determining BCS rankings) can now have their little snogfest, comfortable with their conspiratorial knowledge that the world is out to get them:

The final USA Today Coaches Poll in 2010 will be secret.

Why in the world would Leach be in this discussion?

That means the theory that Stoops has half of the Big 12 (and a bunch more of the overall voters) in his pocket will now no longer be confirmed, nor denied, for it’s hard to prove or disprove something without all of the facts (not that that matters usually).

Tell me, Mrs. Vito ... does the defendant's argument hold water?

AFCA Executive Director and Baylor god (small “G”) Grant Teaff wins the award for worst analogy of the day by comparing the coaches’ votes to the United States’ electoral system:

Gallup recommended the change because confidentiality leads to a better poll, according to Teaff. “Why do you have booths for people to vote in?” he said.

It’s about accountability, coach. Nobody cares who I voted for in the ’96 presidential election, but there are a shit-ton of folks who want to know where Tech savant Mike Leach put OU (1), Tech (2) and Texas (5) in the final 2008 poll (what excuse could he possibly have for voting his own team higher than UT?).

At one level, this tells us how important college football is. The electoral college system used for selecting the POTUS is decried and some would like to change it, but there hasn’t been a serious effort to change or abolish it in almost 40 years. Voices scream almost as loud about the BCS method and there have been discussions at the highest levels of the federal government to tweak it (presumably because they have nothing better to do).

Should it really be that big of a deal, though? Do people really care that ex-Washington coach Tyrone Willingham put Texas at #4 behind USC, then got fired for putting up a donut in the win column? We’re talking about football here, not something less serious like who is going to represent us to the nation and world for the next 2, 4 or 6 years.

Coaches will still be allowed to vote for their own team, so somebody might want to tell Mack. Tired of the silliness after voters still put Missouri ahead of OU after the 2007 Big 12 Championship beatdown, Stoops stopped voting in the poll.

So, in order to address the tinfoil hat theory that says Stoops has half of the coaches in his pocket, let’s take a look at the Stoops tree and how they voted in the final 2008 poll:

Bo Pelini – OU (1), Texas (2), Florida (3), Tech (6)
Mike Leach – OU (1), Tech (2), Florida (3), Texas (5)
Steve Spurrier (South Carolina) – OU (1), Florida (2), Texas (3) … which is exactly how they finished in the overall poll.
*Art Briles (Baylor) – OU (1), Florida (2), USC (3), Bama (4), Texas (5)
Kevin Sumlin (Houston) – doesn’t vote
Mike Stoops (Arizona) – doesn’t vote
Mark Mangino (Kansas) – doesn’t vote

*Briles included because he coached for Leach, ergo some think he’s in Stoops’ coaching tree. I don’t get it, but that’s what “they” say.

It’s a silly game, but if you really want to go down that path of the “well, those coaches are in your pocket” meme, here are Mack’s:

Gene Chizik (Iowa State) – Texas (1), Florida (2), OU (3), Tech (6)
*Mack Brown (Texas) – Florida (1), Texas (2), OU (3), Tech (8)
Todd Dodge (North Texas) – Texas (1), Florida (2), OU (3), Tech (9)
Dick Tomey (Syracuse) – Florida (1), Texas (2), OU (3), Tech (9)

*Yeah, Mack votes. It’s weird how a team that beat his got ranked 6 spots lower on his ballot, too.

As you can see, the whole argument about having coaches on your side didn’t really work in 2008. Will it have any bearing in 2010 when we’ll just be guessing at the coaches’ individual ballots? Your guess is as good as mine.