Tilting at Windmills

Every school has them: people whose very existence sucks up needed oxygen that the rest of us could put to better use.

OU beat “reporters” Dean Blevins and James Hale are to journalism as cholera is to my digestive tract. The next time either one of them say anything relevant or do any actual “reporting” will be the first.

Today’s complete waste of space comes straight out of Austin, though. May I present, Geoff Ketchum, whose reputation (like Hale) is built on incessantly calling 17-18 year old kids and encouraging asking them to come to the school he covers … and if they’re not, why not. Both guys are a walking knuckle-dragging NCAA violation waiting to happen. Unlike Hale, Ketchum can (sometimes) spell and string coherent sentences together and, unlike our former commander in chief, doesn’t completely make up a new language with words and phrases like “saddenly” and “for all intensive purposes.” Seriously, if you’re in for a laugh and not wanting anything of real substance, wait about 3-4 days after an OU game for Hale to get off his fat, Structure sweater vest-wearing ass to hunt and peck out a postgame report that was dictated to him by the OU SID. Whatever you do, though, don’t pretend you know a thing about the English language because apparently they didn’t have a Grammar 101 class in the federal pen.

Anywho, today’s skilly (H/T James!) is about Ketchum, or “Ketch” as he likes to be called by sycophants who like sucking up to suckups. Ketch is full of great zingers, such as going live on Austin radio a few years back and proclaiming Bob Stoops to have “never landed a recruit that Mack Brown wanted.” This was around 2006.

Do the math, folks.

Even Longhorn fans think Ketchum’s a douche. Yesterday’s whopper, however, was maybe Ketch’s best moment. During his afternoon Austin radio show, he had Will Carroll, a baseball guy who writes for Baseball Prospectus, tell him emphatically that Bradford is done for the season. Naturally, Ketchum lapped it right up like the good Pavlovian he is whenever there’s something even remotely negative to “report” about OU. Shortly after the interview, Ketch posted this on his message board (and I’m not even going to give him the courtesy of a reacharound link):

Just talked to Will Carroll on The Drive and he said that Sam Bradford’s injury is considered worse than they originally thought and there’s probably o way he gets back in six weeks…eight weeks at the earliest.

I asked him if some of the stuff I had heard was true:

1. Three doctors have told him to all but shut it down.
2. His family doesn’t want him to play.
3. Stoops and Sam are pushing for a return and waiting for some good news that isn’t likely coming.

He said what I mentioned was almost exactly what’s going on.

I’ll have the audio up within the hour. Really interesting stuff.

That’s really interesting stuff, Ketch! Let’s trace the ethos of your source and see if we can find any credibility since you have zero:

1. Will Carroll is a baseball guy who writes about, well, baseball shit – not football.
2. Will Carroll lives in Illinois which isn’t even remotely close to Oklahoma or any inside sources he may think he has.
3. A quick Google search reveals this about Will Carroll:
   Carroll is sometimes criticized in sports forums for his reporting of injury and trade rumors.

   For example, critics cite his statements:

   * That a trade of Manny Ramirez to the Florida Marlins had been completed and sent to the commissioner’s office for perfunctory approval. Ramirez was later traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers.
   * That a trade of Johan Santana to the Boston Red Sox was all but done at the 2008 deadline. Santana stayed with the Minnesota Twins and later joined the New York Mets.
   * Ramirez having a torn meniscus in 2008. He finished the 2008 season with one of the best performances by any hitter in 2008.

   In his defense, Carroll explains that the rumors he reports on constantly change, and in any case he does not state them as definite facts. One of Carroll’s columns is aptly titled ‘the Rumor Mill’.

Wow, so Carroll makes a living at writing a bullshit column about … bullshit. It’s also baseball bullshit, which is supposed to be his forte and he’s not even getting that right.

Even more interesting that people with actual connections inside the OU program (H/T Josh McCustion) say that Bradford has been throwing in practice, as far back as last week before the Idaho State game. It’s what I’m being told and I don’t have the link for it, unfortunately, because it’s on a $ site, but if you’re interested, by all means go find the information and tell Josh I sent you (that’ll be 5 more sheckels, Josh).

So, from this we can infer that Bradford is likely on track to return in “2-4 weeks” from the time of his injury, like we’re being told. Of course, I’m not reporting that as fact, although I would like Will Carroll’s “informed” opinion on the subject.

Rarely do we get to bag on ex-Sooners. John Blake and sometimes Troy Aikman have it coming.

Dean Blevins, he of so-so talent at QB who was a participant in one Sooner magical play against Nebraska, consistently out-douches himself. It’s not as good as the time he compared Stoops’ management style to bin Laden. For those of us with shorter memories or those who didn’t see the January 2002 article before Joe C most likely told him to take it down (I emailed Castiglione myself, he actually replied and thanked me for pointing it out to him – yeah, that was me, Deano), here’s the damning graph:

Note: The above-linked story obviously doesn’t make the comparison, but find the passage about a 1/4 way down that says “Have you heard the one about bin Laden coaching college football? Oh, I forgot. Can’t tell you that one.” That’s douchebag Dean’s girl-slap at Joe C.

“Stoops is the bin Laden of college coaches: Each wanted by a bunch of folks with a bounty on his head and neither snatched. Each slippery, elusive and a mastermind. Each bunkered and surrounded by confidants whose lips are as sealed as a dead man. One cave in Afghanistan and one in Brookhaven. And each infrequently calls press conferences infrequently with people listening and watching with bated breath.”

This time, it’s just the run-of-the-mill Deano being his usual self-flaggelating self. He’s taking his usual odd-giving asshattery and saying there’s a 75% chance that Sam Bradford is out for the season.

After reporting with great certainty and his usual breathless vigor that HE’S the one bringing you the story, Blevins slimed his way backwards:

“As we reported Sunday night, sources tell me the injury sustained by OU QB Sam Bradford is a Grade 3 AC joint sprain. That means there is a ligament tear and will quite possibly require surgery.

I opined Bradford’s season would most likely be over–”75 percent chance.” Thankfully, that part was wrong.

Eli Manning reportedly called Bradford and discussed how he’d dealt with a similar injury and how he’d come back after only a few weeks.

Grade 3 injuries usually keep QBs on the shelf much longer than 2-4 weeks. But Bradford was up-beat tonight and not even wearing a sling.”

Thanks for telling us exactly what we thought before you ever tried to make yourself part of the story, Deano.