Tilting at Windmills

It’s a hot summer day in July 2008. Drive by the football complex at Kansas State’s Bill Snyder Family Stadium and there are a couple of cars in the parking lot. It’s vacation time. Or maybe then-coach Ron Prince is off somewhere cutting a special clandestine contract to further feather his nest.

Fast forward to an even hotter day a year later. There are about 40 cars in the parking lot. Clearly, the white-haired man whose name is on the stadium is back in charge.

Snyder, the architect of the greatest turnaround in college football history, is back three years after his retirement. And amazingly, the old man with the one-track mind has a rebuilding job on his hands not dissimilar to the mess he inherited in 1989, thanks in large part to Prince’s incredible ineptitude. What in the hell were K-State officials thinking when they hired this assclown? Has anyone ever seen a worse D-1 college football defense than the mess Kansas State rolled out last year?

What were they thinking?

Even as quickly as the introductory presser nine months ago, the vintage Snyder returned: the grandfatherly smile, followed by a stern rebuke of the media for reporting his long-rumored return before Snyder had time to tell everyone he wished. That’s Bill Snyder: Large, pissy and in charge, the old, gruff anti-media coach set in his ways. And By God, don’t you question him.

Also, not only is the Legend back, so are several of the assistant coaches who had front row seats for the incredible turnaround.

But what Kansas State’s fanbase doesn’t acknowledge is Snyder’s role in the program’s deterioration. He was largely unable to replace a series of assistant coaches who filtered out of the program over the years, many for such pedestrian pursuits as a chance to spend time with family. And let’s not forget the sheer numbers of Wildcat assistants who lined up for the Norman bus when Bob Stoops got the Oklahoma job.

“Get me the hell out of here,” all of those assistants seemed to be saying.

They also fail to acknowledge that the Evil Genius got fat and satisfied after the Wildcats pantsed Oklahoma in the 2003 Big 12 Championship Game and recruiting fell off the face of the Earth. The old man with an eye for detail suddenly had problems getting a punter on the field, as the 2005 game at Oklahoma evidenced.

But when you’ve accomplished what you set out to do – a conference title, tainted as it was by the silliness that is a conference championship game; everyone with a brain knows Oklahoma wins that game nine out of 10 times – the work ethic suffers.

It's his mess this time, can he fix it again?

In fact, the cupboard was rather bare when Prince – who was admittedly all style and no substance – duped the moneychangers at Kansas State into the coaching job. The truth will hurt Wildcat faithful: Snyder got fat and happy, and that started the deterioration of their football program long before they brought in the bald, fat boob from Virginia.

And now, the talent level is even worse. It’s not quite back to 1989 levels, but make no mistake about it: Kansas State won’t challenge for a North title anytime soon.

Snyder’s back, and he’s a constant for the embattled K-State fan base at a time when the athletic department and university have an AIG-like reputation for squandering money. They’ve already rolled the clock back with a series of billboards featuring Darren Sproles, Terrance Newman and others from Snyder’s successful days.

That’s a dangerous sign: You don’t rebuild programs by living in the past.

The Wildcats will be better next year – there’s no way in hell they couldn’t be, given the ineptitude of Prince and his staff.

That’s right: the Evil Genius is back, but the days of chasing conference titles and nattys are gone in Manhattan. And with the school’s integrity in tatters, recruiting flight rules tightened, Oklahoma prospering, Kansas turning into a Big 12 North contender and BCS bowl participant, etc., those Good Old Days won’t be coming back any time soon.

If you’ve been around for awhile, you remember the good old days when the words “Kansas State” were synonymous with “suckitude.”

Barry Switzer lighting up heaters on the Manhattan sidelines. Brian Bosworth with his pads off, chewing on a hot dog. Scores routinely in the 70s. About 10,000 people showing up in purple, and about 20,000 showing up in Crimson.

We're hangin' half a hundred today, fellas.

Memo to Bill Snyder: If you don’t do something about the worst college football defense in history, you’re going to live those days – although I doubt you’ll see Bob Stoops firing up a heater as he tries to keep from dropping a hundred on you in Norman this fall.

Ron Prince’s last Wildcat defense couldn’t stop anyone: A non-conference opponent. A conference opponent. The TaW writing staff.

And when you have to rely on an all-star coaching staff for your main hope of improvement, any look into the future is frightening.

Word is, the Mildcats are going to switch to a 4-2-5 alignment this fall, which makes perfect sense – if you’re the opposition. The Cat secondary got lit up last fall more often than a Switzer cancer stick, and all of the burn victims are out of the hospital and ready for another campaign. Senior safety Courtney Herndon is the only player remotely resembling a Big 12 player in the unit.
The Cats also have a solid defensive end in Brandon Harold, and they return senior Eric Childs, who reportedly was a member of Snyder’s first team in 1989 as well.

At the linebacker position, there are several returnees, but when your best player is a freshman walkon in Alex Hrebec, it’s like it’s 1989 again, Billy.

The Cat defense will be better fundamentally, because Snyder hires competent coaches, not his D-2 buddies looking for a quick payday.

But Prince destroyed this program by filling it full of junior college transfers, and the majority of the damage is on the defensive side of the football. Don’t be surprised if the Cats give up a half-hundred on the average in Big 12 play.

Here’s the problem in a nutshell for Bill Snyder Part Deux at Kansas State: He needs Ell Roberson and Darren Sproles clones to make his offense go. Instead, he’s got Carl Straw and Michael Smith clones.

Fact is, the talent on both sides of the ball at Kansas State is a lot closer to the 1989 mess Snyder inherited than the team he left in 2005, thanks to the F5 tornado named Ron Prince who swept through Manhattan in three years, leveling the once-proud program.

It's 1989 again, Bill.

There’s not even Josh Freeman, the error-prone Chris Simms clone who was arguably the most overrated Big 12 player in the conference’s brief history. Instead, it’s Carson Coffman, Brandon “De Plane, Boss. De Plane” Banks and a cast of “Who’s he?” that Snyder will attempt to rebuild around.

Make no mistake about it, though: Kansas State will be better on offense, if for no other reason than the cache of assistants Snyder is bringing back to Manhattan.

Plus, it’s a typical pussified Snyder non-conference schedule, including such titans as UMass, Tennessee Tech and Louisiana Home for the Aged and Infirm. Unfortunately, the UCLA game is on the west coast, depriving Slick Rick Neuheisel of the chance to pick up some underhanded tips from the growing club of experts in Manhattan.

Coffman is a competent player. But does anyone feel confident handing the ball off to Keithen Valentine, Kansas small high school wunderkind Logan Dold or Jarrell Childs? Dold was so impressive toting the rock that Snyder gave him a big look at safety in the spring.

Banks was the Big 12 offensive newcomer of the year, which is made even more impressive by the fact that he’s 3-foot-7. The only other name among the receiving corps, Deon Murphy, was shitcanned by Snyder in the spring. You’ll recall that Snyder was almost Tom Osborne-like in his loyalty to players in trouble with the law who could do good things with the football.

Banks is rested and ready for 2009.

The Wildcat offensive line, a sieve under the former offensive lineman Prince, should probably be better this fall, although I’m sure they’ll miss Prince’s tips on how to negotiate contracts. Seniors Nick Stringer and Brock Unruh anchor that group.

The Wildcats won’t be quite as offensive with the football under Snyder, because they’ll be better fundamentally. But if you’re expecting this group to put up enough points to compete week in and week out in the Big 12, forget it.