Tilting at Windmills

If you’ve been around for awhile, you remember the good old days when the words “Kansas State” were synonymous with “suckitude.”

Barry Switzer lighting up heaters on the Manhattan sidelines. Brian Bosworth with his pads off, chewing on a hot dog. Scores routinely in the 70s. About 10,000 people showing up in purple, and about 20,000 showing up in Crimson.

We're hangin' half a hundred today, fellas.

Memo to Bill Snyder: If you don’t do something about the worst college football defense in history, you’re going to live those days – although I doubt you’ll see Bob Stoops firing up a heater as he tries to keep from dropping a hundred on you in Norman this fall.

Ron Prince’s last Wildcat defense couldn’t stop anyone: A non-conference opponent. A conference opponent. The TaW writing staff.

And when you have to rely on an all-star coaching staff for your main hope of improvement, any look into the future is frightening.

Word is, the Mildcats are going to switch to a 4-2-5 alignment this fall, which makes perfect sense – if you’re the opposition. The Cat secondary got lit up last fall more often than a Switzer cancer stick, and all of the burn victims are out of the hospital and ready for another campaign. Senior safety Courtney Herndon is the only player remotely resembling a Big 12 player in the unit.
The Cats also have a solid defensive end in Brandon Harold, and they return senior Eric Childs, who reportedly was a member of Snyder’s first team in 1989 as well.

At the linebacker position, there are several returnees, but when your best player is a freshman walkon in Alex Hrebec, it’s like it’s 1989 again, Billy.

The Cat defense will be better fundamentally, because Snyder hires competent coaches, not his D-2 buddies looking for a quick payday.

But Prince destroyed this program by filling it full of junior college transfers, and the majority of the damage is on the defensive side of the football. Don’t be surprised if the Cats give up a half-hundred on the average in Big 12 play.

As we “celebrate” the two-decade anniversary of The King being unceremoniously shown the door by the OU administration, some around the country are understandably taking their own shots, as well.

Some shots are being taken by those who were still shitting in their diapers when Switzer left. Others are being taken by those who have reverted back to shitting their diapers and think their bedpan is their cat Millie that died in 1977.

Get off my lawn!

Today’s cloud-yeller, Tim Hutton, takes umbrage with The King’s not-so-subtle backhand of Howard Schnellenberger in Rohde’s Oklahoman story. What really stuck in his walker was this:

Rock bottom came during coaching stints by former player John Blake and Howard Schnellenberger.

“I hated to see that, especially for John, the mistakes he made,” Switzer said, before adding, “I didn’t feel that way for Schnellenberger, though.”

Make mine a double.

Hutton, who apparently knows dick about Oklahoma football and gives The Drunk some folksy, WTF moniker – “The Voice” – doesn’t think Howard was some old, boorish drunk who sent players to the hospital due to heat stroke, took a dump on the history of one of the most storied programs in college football and would have completely decimated Sooner recruiting were it not for John Blake coming in to at least do that well for the following three years.

I give The Voice a huge advantage in this clash of egos.

Switzer did run a dirty program in his final years, and I can understand why Schnellenberger distanced himself from him.

The Oklahoma job was a bad fit for Howard.

That’s about as simplistic as Sarah Palin watching Pootin from her backyard. The topper is that Hutton starts reveling in the glory of increased page views and unique visitors, calling for FAU to play OU in a bowl game.

I gots three for ya here, Tim:

1. You got it. Let’s put each other on the schedule. We’ll even go home and home. We’ll even spot you two touchdowns and a handle of Jameson in Norman.
2. First, you have to make it to a real bowl game to play us. No, we’re not accepting an invitation to the Prefabricated Furniture Bowl sponsored by Palm Harbor Homes.
3. Were FAU to turn water into wine and actually make it into a real bowl, there’s no fucking way you’re another Boise State. Bring it.

Warning: Things are about to get real.

If you’re an OU fan under 30, I’m calling you out.

To my generation of Sooner Nation⎯it’s time to know your roots.

Seven is not a movie with Brad Pitt or the jeans you paid too much for.

47 is not your average score on the back nine, the Big-8 is not your top friends on MySpace and half-a-hundred is not your favorite rapper.

Mex is not what you ate last night and Little Red never precedes Riding Hood.

The Game of the Century is not your epic beer pong match in college, the Wishbone is not something you break apart after Thanksgiving dinner and the Option has nothing to do with your side order at Wendy’s.

Your uncle’s trucker hat with the slanted OU logo is not ugly⎯it is vintage and demands your respect.

Owens does not come after Terrell and Vessels is not part of your circulatory system.

You do not think of Barry Switzer as a Dallas Cowboy or Dunkin’ Donuts spokesman.

“Little Joe” is not your morning cup of coffee.

Keith Jackson is not a sportscaster, JC Watts is not just a former Congressman and Billy Sims is not just some guy who likes to yell “Booma!”

Nebraska is not irrelevant. Miami is not to be taken lightly. Notre Dame is not to be pitied.

Mack Brown is no Tom Osborne.

This is a call to action. To my fellow Stoops-era Sooners⎯time to man up. To study up on your Sooner heritage. To take responsibility for your fanhood.

Sure, you were a toddler when Switzer won No. 6 in 1985, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know where you were when it happened.

Where were you getting your diaper changed when this was happening?

You never witnessed the Sooner greats of old or the birth of Sooner Magic, but that doesn’t mean you don’t ask questions.

How would you like it if your son didn’t know about Rocky Calmus, Quentin Griffin and the “Strip n’ Score?” How would you take it if he drew a blank on Roy Williams, Teddy Lehman and “Superman?” What if he couldn’t tell you about Josh Heupel, Adrian Peterson and Sam Bradford?

If you know more about the 5-star recruit out of Plano West than the careers of The Boz, the Selmon Brothers and the Godfather of the Wishbone, then you’ve got your work cut out.

When your Dad is talking about Switzer, you shut up and listen. He is called the King for a reason.

When your Grandfather is talking about Wilkinson, you take notes. You take thorough notes, and not on your laptop, either. You write them down old school, with a pen and paper.

In fact, stop what you’re doing right now and Google Bennie Owen. You know what? Don’t. Go find a book about him⎯the kind with ink and paper. And read it old school too, from cover to cover.

For the love of God, have an intelligent response when someone asks you what a Sooner is.

Can you name this Sooner great?  You should⎯he’s in the NFL Hall of Fame and never lost a game at OU.

I’m not just picking on you, because I’m starting with myself. My friend recently told me that his favorite play in OU history was “The Catch” from November 22, 1986, a 41-yard strike from Jamelle Holieway to Keith Jackson with a spectacular one-handed grab against Nebraska with 9 seconds left in a 17-17 game (Tim Lasher converted on the ensuing field goal, vaulting the Sooners over Nebraska on the way to a Big-8 title and a berth in the Orange Bowl.)

I hadn’t the slightest idea what he was talking about. Sure, I was three years old when it happened, but I still wanted to go sulk in a corner.

That sort of bush league behavior is reserved for Texas, LSU and the like.

I was suddenly on a mission to become a student of Sooner football history, dedicating myself to my studies, and I recommend each of you do the same.

It’s a matter of pride. A challenge to your fanhood is a challenge to your manhood. Don’t put yourself in a position to have either one called into question.

This isn’t some dog and pony show like Colorado, Arkansas or Oregon. You’re not some Poke or Aggie. You’re a Sooner, and this is Oklahoma football. Be worthy of the program you were blessed to be born and bred into.

The Gators and Wolverines of the world would kill to lay claim to half the records you do. The Horns want you and the Pokes want to be you. You take a back seat to no Domer, Bammer, Trojan or Buckeye, but it didn’t happen over night. You sit in your rightful place on the throne⎯Kings of College Football. It’s time to start acting like it.

Go make your Father’s proud.

Know yOUr roots.

Boomer Sooner.

We’ve been able to obtain the view-from-the-stands observations from inside OU’s scrimmage this past Saturday.

We see you, Bobby Jack ...

Atlantasooner already shared his scrimmage thoughts based on the publicly-available information. Here are some things you probably didn’t see:

Stoops losing his shit all day. We’ll probably get a watered-down, pursed-lips, surly Stoops at next weeks’ spring game. If you’d been where the action was last weekend, though, you would have seen Stoops:
Throw Gerald McCoy off the field for being what he thought was too rough with one of the quarterbacks. When McCoy got to the sidelines, he got another earful from Jackie Shipp.

Nearly kick the entire defense off of the field at one point. Hard to see what was going on, but suffice it to stay that Stoops wasn’t happy.

The offense struggled to move the ball against the defense, except when they were aided by penalties. This is likely another reason Stoops was going off all day.

No surprise here, but Jermie Calhoun and Justin Johnson got most of the reps at running back. Each of them had solid days, but no breakaway runs.

Jameel Owens got a lot of looks and had a great day. He made a nice play on a ball that was put up for grabs, corraling the pass on the sidelines. He also got wide open behind the defense at one point and just missed hauling in a sure touchdown.

Tom Wort had a solid day and got in a couple of nice pops.

Corey Wilson made an appearance at practice, still using a wheelchair. Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Corey.

The King showed up to watch practice with Dallas TE Jason Whitten in tow.

Several Austin businesses and retailers have decided to shutter their doors and eschew profits this weekend for fear of the crowds and subsequent revenue generated by the annual 82nd annual Clyde Littlefield Texas Relays.

I agree – that doesn’t make sense.

For those outside the state of Texas, or who just don’t follow the event, the Texas Relays is one of the premier track and field competitions in the country. The meet is legendary: Knute Rockne was the meet’s referee in 1929. Held every year in mid-April at Mike Myers Stadium (e.g., mini-DKR), the spectacle reels in some of the top track and field talent in the world. Virginia Tech’s Queen Harrison, who ran the 400-meters for the U.S. Olympic squad, is at this year’s event. World 100m and 200m champion Tyson Gay (who currently holds the American 100m record at 9.77 seconds) anchored the fastest 4x100m relay team of the day in the prelims. Three-time Olympic gold medalist and four-time world champion Jeremy Wariner blistered the track with a 45.2 anchor leg for his team’s 4x400m relay.

He was sort of a big deal.

The Austin Convention and Visitors Bureau estimates 40,000 people will attend the event, generating an estimated $8 million in revenue for the city. As proof that Austin is also the Live Music Capitol of the World, the annual Urban Music Festival will showcase Boyz II Men, Cameo and the Sugar Hill Gang this weekend, too, meaning there are likely thousands more who might not necessarily attend the Relays, but will definitely go see Larry Blackmon’s codpiece.

Ow!

So, why would Sixth Street clubs like Emo’s and the Flamingo Cantina, and the huge shopping complex Highland Mall, decide to close rather than rake in fistloads of cash over the next few days?

If you have any wherewithal about you, you’ve probably figured out the predominant ethnic makeup of the estimated 40,000 people: African-American.

Before knee-jerking and going willy-shrilly at even the slightest hint that something may be biased because of someone’s race (read: racist), know that some of these business owners have a point.

In those businesses’ defense, the Texas Relays weekend can be a little trying, to say the least. Angela Gillen, owner of Sixth Street’s Flamingo Cantina (a predominantly reggae bar) says her perception is that Texas Relays weekend “seems like it’s a big gun party in the street” and that it’s “counterproductive” to stay open.

Bill Corsello, general manager of Emo’s nightclub (a popular live music venue in the heart of Sixth Street), says it’s a financial decision to close this weekend, saying “people just want to be on the street. They don’t want to go into our club.” That gibes with Austin Police Chief Patti Robinson’s noting that many of the downtown partiers are underage and cannot get into the clubs, so they hang around outside, forcing her to put an additional 100 APD patrolling the downtown streets.

Highland Mall’s closing is a little curious, but there’s a history there that at least gives them a little benefit of the doubt. “There are malls where white people go and malls where white people used to go,” Chris Rock tells us. Highland is the latter. What used to be a bustling, high-trafficked and well-heeled place to shop has turned into ground zero for Austin urban thuggery on the weekends. For those of you who know Oklahoma City, think Crossroads. Two years ago, the mall shut down during Texas Relays weekend due to “unruly crowds” (read: a stabbing). Highland Mall claiming that there’s an increase in unruliness anytime is laughable. In a city known for its relative safety and low crime rate, you ask anybody where in Austin are you most likely to get assaulted or clipped in a drive-by. Those that don’t say Rundberg Lane will say Highland Mall (those that do say Rundberg will follow it up quickly with “Highland, too.”).

Austin’s television news stations aren’t exactly known for hard-hitting, thought-provoking journalism, but KVUE News’ Quita Culpepper, someone in the business I’ve always respected, actually put together some statistics that show recent crime hasn’t been any worse during Texas Relays weekend than it is during ACL fest or the ROT Biker Rally (where African-American attendees are as scarce as they are prevalent during the Relays).

So, can these businesses make a case to say that the color of the Texas Relay revelers’ money is no good? Sure. Does it send a good signal to those coming into town, and others who are on the outside looking in? Definitely not.

For those who don’t live in Austin, it’s is a city where a nasty, homeless, filthy crossdresser can come in second in the mayoral race, getting nearly 7.75% of the vote. (Note: you’re not funny or edgy anymore, Leslie. Quit bringing your stink and your leathery man-ass hanging out of that pink thong past my outdoor patio table at Guero’s when I’m trying to eat my damned fajita tacos). The city’s unofficial motto “Keep Austin Weird,” while a trite touristy slogan now, started off as a sincere sentiment that the majority of the population remember that the city became successful by celebrating its diversity.

Many still remember some of the old wounds that Austinites would like to think have healed, but stories like this one concerning the Texas Relays weekend reminds us that they’re still visible:

• UT has the dubious distinction of fielding the last all-white national football champion in 1969. In 1970, Julius Whittier, a backup lineman, was the token African-American on the Longhorns roster. He backs up Darrell Royal’s claim that DKR wanted to recruit African-Americans (he had coached African-American players at two previous coaching stops), but that the culture surrounding the university and the football program wouldn’t allow it. Whether true or not, it didn’t stop Barry Switzer from cherry-picking Texas high school African-American sensations like Joe Washington, Greg Pruitt and Thomas Lott, telling them either directly or overtly implying that they’d never get a chance to play at UT because of the color of their skin. It also didn’t help when the 2008 movie The Express brought back some painful memories of Syracuse’s Ernie Davis, the first African-American to win the Heisman Trophy, suffering racism at the hands of, among others, DKR’s Longhorns in the 1960 Cotton Bowl.


Whiter than an albino mime.

• Austin’s Police Department has had to unfortunately defend itself over claims of racism in the past. Granted, you probably can’t find a law enforcement agency that hasn’t had some kind of abuse or bias claims against it. Not everybody is the LAPD, though. The APD’s rep depends on who you ask. When former APD chief Stan Knee retired in 2007, he was commended by Austin’s NAACP for his work in addressing and reducing incidents that could be construed as racial profiling. When he first assumed the top post at APD, he had the incredibly difficult task of cleaning up a piss-poor community relations perception after the now-infamous 1995 Cedar Avenue riots. Again, the details of the incident depend on who you ask, but the facts we know are that on February 14, 1995, after an African-American resident in East Austin called 911 to say he had ejected a gang member from his party because he was carrying a gun, 65 Austin police officers swooped in and beat, maced and cattle-prodded over a dozen party-goers while others were threatened at gunpoint. The city eventually reached a financial settlement with some of the aggrieved parties, but the emotional scars no doubt still linger for some.

• Knee was lauded for expanding his predecessor Elizabeth Watson’s community policing program to improve relations with East Austin, but with a city of Austin’s size and ethnically-diverse makeup, unfortunate incidents keep the wounds from completely healing. Since 2002, white APD officers have shot and killed four minority residents. The 2003 killing of Jessie Owens by white APD officer Scott Glasgow galvanized East Austin. A District Judge threw out criminally-negligent homicide charges against Glasgow and the DOJ later ruled that Glasgow did not violate Owens’ civil rights when he killed him. The white officer’s punishment for taking a black teen’s life ended up being a 90 day suspension (without pay).

There are more recent examples, too:

• Geoff Ketchum’s afternoon show on Austin’s ESPN radio didn’t help matters this week when it referred to Texas Relays weekend as “South-by-Southwest for black folks.” I heard it with my own ears. I guess they thought that was OK, though, because their producer “AT,” an African-American female, said it.

• Lifted from the “I can’t believe there are still people like this” files, Longhorn backup lineman Buck Burnette was dismissed from the team this past season for “unspecified violation of team rules.” We can go ahead and glean that the specific violation was his Facebook status on November 5, 2008, the day after President Obama was elected, saying “all the hunters gather up. there’s a n***** in the White House.” In Burnett’s “apology,” he said he was just passing along what he thought was a funny text message from a friend and that “I grew up on a ranch in a small town where that was a real thing and I need to grow up.” I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it means. He also indicated that he thought his real transgression was merely expressing that thought publicly. Credit Mack Brown for showing this redneck the door post haste.

Flash forward to today in 2009, in the most progressive city in the state of Texas, the azure blue island in a sea of red. Is race playing a factor in these businesses shutting down on a huge financial windfall weekend? Living in Austin for a decade and a half and seeing the dynamics of the city at work, I can honestly say no. Does it look good, though? Honestly, no it doesn’t. At worst, it’s a very bad PR move and reflects poorly on a city still working to mend fences with its minority communities. Gossip can spread like wildfire in situations like these and people not prone to weigh all of the facts could easily jump to the “those folks are a bunch of racists” conclusion. Likewise, the other side should have thought further ahead at the impact their actions would have on the minds of tens of thousands of people coming to Austin to party, have fun and most importantly to business leaders, spend money.